Sweet Taste of Victory

In honor of my commanding victory over my co-worker in Sunday's Sprint Triathlon, I thought I would honor myself at work by brining in some snacks for everyone.  Followers of the Pineapple Project know that there are ALWAYS snacks, pastries, and full spreads of food brought in by people that occupy prime real estate on the kitchen table at work.  Since I hadn't brought anything in to wreck people's diets yet, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to include everyone in the spoils of victory.

Originally my plan was to bring in malasadas, but the malasada shop is closed on Mondays.  So I settled on assorted pastries.  I looked around for a bakery in downtown Honolulu and came across The Patisserie (1164 Bishop Street - map here).  I walked in and they have a glass display case with super fresh-looking scones, croissants, muffins, cakes, and doughnuts.  Everything looked so good!  They also make homemade breads, baguettes, and rolls.  So if you're ever in downtown honolulu, I recommend stopping by for some delicious pastries.

It was a big hit at work and it spread the message of my triathlon dominance so it worked out well.

Lumpia

Earlier, I mentioned that some of the secretaries brought in food to work for Boy's Day.  One of the items, manapua, I already talked about in great detail.  Manapua is a delicious ball of dough filled with pork or chicken or beef or veggies.  Another item they brought in was Lumpia, something I had never heard of.  Everyone in the office got incredibly excited when they heard that Lumpia was in the kitchen.

Apparently there are many types of lumpia.  There is Lumpiang Sariwà (fresh spring roll),
Lumpiang Shanghai (filled with ground pork or beef, minced onion, carrots, and spices with the mixture held together by beaten egg), and Lumpiang Prito/Lumpiang Gulay (literally, fried spring roll).  We had the lumpiang prito and all it's fried goodness.  It was filled with briskly fried pancake, bean sprouts, and various other vegetables such as string beans and carrots. Small morsels of meat or seafood may also be added, but there wasn't any in these.  These, too, were pretty delicious!

Boy's Day

On March 3rd I wrote about girl's day and made some sexist hilarious comments about the Japanese getting it right.  For girl's day, you may recall that someone brought in brownies and fortune cookies to work.  Well, today is BOY'S DAY!  Let me just say, I didn't even know there was a boy's day until I walked into the kitchen.  Again, it seems the Japanese got this one right.  We didn't just get brownies.  Oh no.  The judicial assistants all brought in food for "their boys."  That's right, there are 3 boxes of manapua.  There is a big box of peanut butter crackers.  There is a massive tray of Lumpia (egg rolls).  There is a big bag of bagels with three types of cream cheese spreads.  It's like I died and went to my triathlon training hell!  Anyway, everyone has been in the kitchen all morning snacking on delicious food and hanging out.  As you can imagine, little work is being done.

So what is boy's day?  Good question.  May brings the reminder that in Japan, as in the United States, one of a nation's greatest assets is her children. May 5 is "Children's Day" in Japan, the day to stress the importance of respecting the character of children and promoting their health and happiness. It is also the day for children to express their gratitude for the tender love and care they receive from their parents. On this day Japanese families celebrate Tango-no-Sekku, the Boys' Festival. With its special customs and observances, it is Japan's way of celebrating the healthy growth and development of her young boys.

A carp-like streamer (yes, like the fish) is flown outside your home for each son in the family, a very large one for the eldest, the others ranging down in size.  The carp has become the symbol of the Boys' Festival because the Japanese consider it the most spirited of fish, so full of energy and power that it can fight its way up swift-running streams and cascades. Because of its strength and determination to overcome all obstacles, it stands for courage and the ability to attain high goals. The carp is an appropriate symbol to encourage manliness and the overcoming of life's difficulties leading to consequent success.

Girls are the guests of their brothers on this occasion just as boys are guests of their sisters on the occasion of the Girls' Festival on March 3. Their parents provide them with the traditional delicacies such as Chimaki (sweet rice dumplings wrapped in iris or bamboo leaves) and Kashiwa-Mochi (rice cakes containing sweet bean paste wrapped in oak leaves).

Headnote of the Week

This week I decided to do something different for the Headnote of the Week.  Instead of giving you a quote from a real case, I wanted to give readers a sense of what I read on a regular basis.  What follows is a quote from one party's brief in a case I am working on.  Please keep in mind that this is written by a private lawyer (i.e. being paid) for a criminal defendant facing serious jail time.  I have omitted nothing (i.e. the lawyer cited no cases to support his argument).  The brief was written in March, though, so maybe the lawyer had March Madness on the brain...

"Without a defense expert to contravert [sic] or at least contest the conclusions reached by the prosecution's expert witnesses . . . [this case] is akin to showing up to play a game of basketball with only four players instead of five players.  The result of such a game, all things being equal, is easy to predict.  The same is true with a trial. If the other side produces an expert witness, it is ineffective assistance of counsel for a defense attorney not to produce a defense expert on the same subject matter to contest or challenge the conclusions reached by the government's expert witness.  This is what occurred in this case, and this is why there was ineffective assistance of counsel as regards this issue."

Could you represent yourself?

Let me explain something.  If you find yourself in legal trouble or you're involved in a lawsuit of some kind, do your research before you hire a lawyer.  Don't just hire the first retard that comes knocking.  In fact, if they're advertising, chances are they need your business.  If they need your business, what does that say about them?  If you find yourself in legal trouble in Hawai'i...well...I don't know what to tell you.  You're probably not going to find a quality lawyer.  You might get lucky, but you're probably screwed.  Or maybe you find some good lawyers but, since they're the only good ones around, they charge more than you can afford.  I can honestly say you might just be better off representing yourself IF (and ONLY IF) you are not an idiot.  What do I mean by that?

First, can you spell correctly?  For example, can you correctly use there, they're, and their or your and you're?  If not, then writing motions is going to prove difficult for you and you're probably too dumb to represent yourself.  Second, can you write in complete sentences?  This means using correct grammar with clear thoughts.  Finally, can you understand that when you make a legal argument, you must support that argument with (1) evidence and (2) case law?  You can't just say, "that crazy bitch is a liar."  Case law is the collection of cases that have already been decided that have facts similar to the facts of your dispute.  You can research case law for free at any local law school library or courthouse library.

We see a lot of pro se litigants (people representing themselves) in Hawaii.  For whatever reason, they choose to forego a lawyer.  So instead, they represent themselves and write 35 page briefs that fail to cite a single case.  Sometimes they'll cite cases but fail to argue what that case has to do with their case.  I hate to say it, but pro se litigants almost always lose when they face a lawyer.  Why?  Because even though the lawyer is bad, the lawyer often knows to cite cases and make a reasonably intelligent argument.  A persuasive legal argument is different than saying, "Joe didn't live up to the contract."  So, consider how smart you really are before you decide to represent yourself.  Consider how smart your lawyer is before you hand him or her a check.  And for the love of God, proofread your shit before you turn it in.

Yes, The Countdown Changed

No, you didn't sleep through 365 days.  My clerkship is ending a year early.  I don't have much to say on the subject other than I was ready to move on.  Hawaii is great and I like living in a place where it is 80 degrees and sunny every day, but I also have no interest in becoming an expert in Hawaii Family Law.  Unfortunately, the only real experience I am getting here is completely useless to my future career.  As a result, I didn't think there was much benefit or value in extending the clerkship beyond the first year.

I am sure you're thinking, but the legal market is shit right now, what will you do?  Well, fortunately, I have already accepted a job doing litigation, so have no fear, I will not be unemployed.  I may be homeless for a little while unless I can convince someone to let me sleep on their couch, but I will at least have a job.

Are we even surprised anymore?

In fairness to Hawai'i, I wanted to write a post pointing out that there are terrible lawyers all over the country...and it is increasingly bothering me.   The Washington Post reported the other day that a Washington, DC judge declared a mistrial in a murder trial because the defendant's attorney was incompetent.  The attorney was a 2009 graduate of Touro Law School.  If you saw that and knew where Touro Law School was located without having to look it up, write it in the comments and let me know.  I had to look it up.  It is located in Central Islip, New York. I think the most insulting thing about this whole thing is that on the front page of their website, Touro boats, "all lawyers are educated. our lawyers are prepared."  They go further and state, "Touro Law Center graduates are ready to hit the ground running – and go the extra mile to get the job done." Apparently not, Touro.

Joseph Rakofsky graduated law school in 2009 and he couldn't get a job surely wanted to help people right away so he started his own law firm.  His focus?  Criminal DUIs, traffic tickets, and (so he claims) murder trials.  According to the Washington Post, "Judge William Jackson told attorney Joseph Rakofsky during a hearing Friday that he was 'astonished' at his performance and at his 'not having a good grasp of legal procedures' before dismissing him."  Why didn't this guy have a good grasp of legal procedure?  Probably because he got a shitty legal education from a fourth-tier, no name law school that is more interested in taking students' money than preparing them for practicing law.  Let's take a look at Tuition and Fees at Touro Law straight from their website:

Juris Doctorate

First Year Students

Full Time Students (12 – 16 credits) $20,475.00 per semester
Part Time Students (8 – 11 credits)  $15,330.00 per semester

Second Year Students

Full Time Students (12 – 16 credits) $20,055.00 per semester
Part Time Students (8 – 11 credits) $15,120.00 per semester

Third Year Students

Full Time Students (12 – 16 credits) $19,645.00 per semester 
Part Time Students (8 – 11 credits) $14,915.00 per semester

The school charges students more than $40,000 per year. How can a school that bad have the audacity to charge so much? Because there is no accountability and people are stupid enough to pay. Unfortunately, there are too many people out there willing to take out an absurd amount of loans to pay it and banks irresponsibly lend it out to people with no prospect of paying it back. So the cycle continues. Idiots like Joseph Rakofsky get to call themselves lawyers.

Now, what gets lost in all this, as I've written about before, is that Joseph Rakofsky doesn't suffer (though, he should be sanctioned).  No, only the defendant and the victim's family suffer.  If he's innocent, the defendant doesn't get a fair trial.  If he's guilty, the victim's family doesn't get justice.  The judge should be applauded for taking charge and dismissing the attorney.  Joseph Rakofsky took on a case that he was not competent to handle.  The legal standard for effective representation is frighteningly low, so a judge doesn’t declare a mistrial based on incompetency of counsel unless the lawyer is really, really, really incompetent.  The judge said that Rakofsky’s performance was “below what any reasonable person would expect in a murder trial.”  But think about that for a second.  Why just a murder trial?  Shouldn't clients in ANY criminal case receive the same level of representation.  Anyone convicted of a crime - whether it's excessive speeding, DUI, or murder - will have a criminal record that can prevent them from getting jobs, entering federal buildings, getting security clearance, or just from having a good reputation.  If Rakofsky should not have been trying murders, he should not have been trying anything without adult supervision.

How does the legal community allow something like this to happen?  Would a first year resident operate on someone alone? No, because that's how people die.  Young attorneys are the same.  Here we have a man, on trial for his life, facing life in prison, whose attorney doesn't even have a basic competency in criminal procedure.  Where would he learn that procedure?  Well, law school might be a good start.  And what was Rakofsky's response?  When asked about his website's claims that he has worked on "murder, embezzlement and conspiracy cases," Rakofsky simply replied, "when I say I've worked on those cases, that doesn't mean I've worked on those cases on my own . . . I was working with other lawyers, interning and stuff."  But Joseph Rakofsky isn’t special.  Thousands of lawyers - every day - claim attributes that they don’t have and take cases they are not ready to take. Nothing he did made him any more blameworthy than any of those lawyers: lawyers whose need to make a buck overcomes their judgment and ethics.

It's embarrassing that this stuff happens every day.  But how did Rakofsky respond? He bragged (click to enlarge).  I got this image from Military Underdog:

Oral Arguments

I really hate bad-mouthing Hawai'i and its legal profession.  I truly look for lawyers here that I can compliment and say that they're not an embarrassment to the profession or should be disbarred for their incompetence.  I have a few theories on why the quality of legal services here in Hawai'i is below average, but perhaps I'll save that for a different day.  Today, I want to talk about something I saw yesterday.  I wish I recorded it because...well...it's going to be hard to visualize.

Yesterday the Intermediate Court of Appeals held oral arguments for two cases at the University of Hawaii Richardson School of Law.  The ICA normally holds oral arguments at the Supreme Court courtroom, but every once in a while it's held at UH to give law students the opportunity to get free lunch see attorneys argue an appellate case.  Afterwards there is a Q & A where students can ask the judges and law clerks questions about their jobs.  It's also a way for students to start thinking about clerking after law school.  Of the 12 clerks at the ICA only 3 are non-UH law graduates.

Anyway, yesterday involved two cases.  The first dealt with a fairly interesting search and seizure case involving the exclusionary rule and the fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine.  The case was really well-argued on both sides of the case, which made it both enjoyable and interesting to watch.  I thought the attorneys were well-prepared, articulate, and made well-reasoned arguments.

That's not the case I want to talk about.  No, the case that the world needs to know about is the second one. First of all, it was a traffic case about the calibration of a radar gun.  In Hawai'i you can be arrested for "excessive speeding."  It is a crime.  From the beginning this argument was a nightmare and a circus.  The Appellant's attorney (i.e. the defendant lost in the lower court and is appealing) was absolutely the worst attorney I have ever seen.  His behavior was inappropriate and disrespectful and completely undermined the legitimacy of the court (well, as much legitimacy as there can be when you listen to traffic cases...but stick with me).  His behavior (and argument) was so bad that it was laughable.  I feel the need to bring this up as a warning to any future (or current) lawyers who may do some of these things.

First, he drifted off topic several times and started "lecturing" rather than "arguing."  An oral argument should generally go like this:  brief summary of facts, point of error one, argument; point of error two, argument; etc.  During this time the judges will barrage the attorney with questions challenging the arguments.  This guy omitted the facts altogether (not terribly important as the judges read the briefs), but when asked the first question, the attorney literally said, "judge, I don't want to answer that, or go into that, because that point hurts my case. I want to talk about this grave injustice."  The attorney then turned around to the audience (i.e. turned his back on the judges) and started lecturing the audience.  He said, "see, this is what happens when you're caught speeding, you have to come up here and answer tough questions. don't speed."  He turned his back on the judges AT LEAST 3 times to address the audience.  At one point, he used the edge of the counsel's table to demonstrate "a cliff" that you fall off when you speed and then told the audience that they should never plead guilty unless they want "ridiculous" and "unjust" minimum penalties.

Second, he objected during the other side's argument.  For anyone not familiar with appellate arguments, you can't do that.  You can't say anything when the other side is speaking.  Both sides get 30 minutes.  When your time is up, you remain silent.

Third, when the other side made their argument, this guy banged his head on the table.

I wish I could recount more accurately the specific things this guy said, but suffice to say there were several times the judges themselves were laughing.  In my opinion, the lawyer should be sanctioned.  However, the judges never gave him a warning or tried to reign him in, so it's hard to sanction someone without putting them on notice.

That is sort of my point, though.  What kind of message are the judges sending to attorneys when they let them get away with this sort of spectacle?  In front of a room of future lawyers, the judges sent the message that it's okay to be unprepared.  It's okay to disrespect the court.  It's okay to interrupt the other side.  It's okay to not make a coherent argument.  In short, their silence made it okay for this guy to provide bad representation to a client.  I'm sure the judges didn't want to embarrass the lawyer.  In fact, afterwards one of the audience members remarked that they felt sorry for the lawyer because he clearly had no idea what he was doing.  My immediate reaction was that we should feel sorry for the client!  Someone paid this guy to represent him in court.  It looked like the lawyer was having a great time giving his lecture and making his gestures and making absurd comments, but at the end of the day someone needs to remember that this guy represented someone accused of a crime.  Someone's life, and criminal history, was in this guy's hands.  What are we saying, as a profession, when we fail to prevent people like this from becoming a practicing attorney?

Back At It

As some people have pointed out to me, my last triathlon post was several weeks ago.  No, I did not forget to post.  I stopped working out.  Why? Let me tell you.

Moving to a new city is difficult.  Moving to a new state is even more difficult.  Selling all of your belongings, packing your few remaining possessions into storage boxes and suitcases and moving across the Pacific Ocean is an entirely different level of difficulty.  I am a firm believer in radical change and I appreciate the need to experience all of life's many adventures.  I am truly afraid of waking up one day and realizing that I never did anything of note, never saw anything spectacular, and never undertook any uncomfortable endeavors.  That being said, it is still challenging.  Having lived in England, the Dominican Republic, and a number of other U.S. cities, I find that there are a few ways to make the transition slightly easier: (1) join a team sport; (2) find roommates; and (3) develop a routine.

Now, please forgive the analogy, but I am about to compare living in Hawaii to living in prison.  It's all about routine and survival.  I have not personally been to prison, but I watch a lot of MSNBC and I am under the impression that the key to doing one's time is getting into a routine.  In Hawaii, it's very similar.  Survival is not so much about ass raping as it is dodging all the asian female drivers, but my point remains the same.  When that routine is disrupted, it becomes difficult to survive.  Training for a triathlon equally requires a routine.  Unfortunately, when people visit, it becomes difficult to follow that routine.  You go out to eat instead of cooking dinner.  You come home from work and entertain people rather than going to the gym and working out.  On weekends you don't have the opportunity to do laundry, go to the grocery store, run errands, or train for a triathlon because you have to play host.

Don't get me wrong, I love having visitors.  They are an important part of "doing one's time."  As a result, I continue to encourage friends and relatives to visit.  In fact, the last month and a half I have had 4 visitors.  I look forward to having more people visit in the future.  Having visitors forced me to explore different parts of the island, try new restaurants, and enjoy the Hawaiian outdoors.  As you can imagine, though, having four visitors over five weeks has also not been conducive to a rigorous triathlon-training schedule.  Unfortunately, entertaining visitors means that training has to take a backseat.  Well, to all my devoted readers, have no fear.  I am back at it.  I have gone back to the gym the last two days and am training for the triathlon once more.  The triathlon is April 17.  I have 19 days.  The last two days have proven that my month-long "detour" has left me DREADFULLY out of shape, but I am back.  I no longer hope to finish in the top 25 or so, but I should be able to complete the triathlon without stopping.  So that is the new goal: finish without stopping.

March Madness

Every March, sports fans and non-sports fans alike participate in a tradition that brings everyone together.  March Madness Tournament Brackets.  This year I organized an office pool, along with people's significant others, in an effort to make this year's tournament a little more exciting.  I was surprised at the reception I received in trying to organize it.  There was a lot of interest, even though the entrance fee was $15.  Overall we got 15 people to enter the pool.

I've written before that I work in a room with 6 clerks.  Sometimes it can get a little loud and talkative making focus difficult.  Add to the mix that 5 of the 6 people in my room entered the pool and that's just a recipe for no work getting done.  All day today everyone has been watching the games/scores religiously.  Every once in a while someone will spontaneously and unexpectedly shout at their computer.  It's actually made it a pretty fun day.  

Girls' Day

Today I walked into the kitchen at work and, unsurprisingly, there was food.  I was disappointed to see that it was not manapua.  Instead, there was a bag of fortune cookies (random, I know, but those asians love their fortunes I guess) and a big box of assorted brownies from Napolean's Bakery (note: Napolean's bakery is located at Zippy's and is delicious).  Anyway, hand-written on the box was "Happy Girls' Day!"

I didn't think much of the note and figured "girl's day" was similar to the "take your daughter to work day" that we used to have in middle school when hippie liberals people were trying to tell women they could be something other than barefoot and pregnant tied to a stove.  It wasn't until I went to lunch that girl's day came up again.  As I was standing in line to get a delicious steak wrap and fries from the corner deli, a creepy guy in front of me was handing out hershey's kisses to any girl who was standing around him saying "happy girl's day" in his nice raspy emphysema voice.  When he got to the front of the line to place his order, he had more hershey kisses for the girl's behind the counter.  Now I was intrigued.

First of all, let me just say that I was under the impression we already had a "girl's day."  You might know it by the name Valentine's Day.  You may have heard about it.  It's a day when every schmuck on earth goes out of his way to buy flowers, candy, and gifts before being forced to skip that evening's TV shows and get unnecessarily dressed up to take a woman to an above-average restaurant...all in the name of making her happy.  So although we had a Girl's Day two weeks ago, apparently they need another one.

This girl's day is a Chinese/Japanese tradition.  The 3rd of March is called "Hina-no-Sekku","Hina-Matsuri" (Doll's Festival) or "Momo-no-Sekku" (Peach blossom's Festival) and used to be one of the important seasonal events of ancient China.  Today it has become a function symbolic of Japanese arts and customs.  It has "been in existence in Japan since the Edo Period (17 - 19 centuries)."  The third day of the third month was a day of purification in the Shinto religion from ancient times. The use of dolls in the purification rites is mentioned in the Tale of Genji, written nearly a thousand years ago. Hina Matsuri has some of its roots in this festival of purification.

As part of the tradition, families with young daughters celebrate this event at home to ensure their daughter's future happiness. So how do they make sure their daughters will be happy in the future?  They decorate "hina-Ningyo" (special dolls which are replicas of an ancient emperor and empress and their subordinates).  That's right, the Japanese teach their daughters that the key to happiness is to be a princess and marry an emperor.  I'm surprised there aren't more Japenese people on Long Island...

Anyway, the Japanese dolls are not the everyday dolls kids usually play with but are ceremonial dolls handed down from generation to generation. They are displayed for a few days in the best room of the house, after which they are boxed and put away until next year. Parents who are able to do so buy new sets of dolls for a girl baby born since the preceding festival, and relatives and friends make gifts of dolls.  A set of Hina-dolls usually consists of at least 15 dolls, all in the ancient costumes. The display also includes miniature household articles which often are major artistic productions. The dolls most highly valued are the Dairi-sama, which represent the Emperor and Empress in resplendent court costumes of silk. They are attended by their two ministers, three kanjo (court ladies), and five court musicians. All are displayed on a tier of steps, usually five, from 3 to 6 ft. long and covered with bright red cloth. This stand is specially set up in the home only on this day.  Basically, think of it as the Japanese version of a nativity set...just without the savior.

In the old days, everyone made crude dolls of paper, and as they made them all their ill fortunes and sickness were transferred to the dolls. Gathering the dolls, they went together to a nearby river and threw their evils into the water.  It was also used as an occasion for a family outing just when the spring season started.  Hina-matsuri used to be one of the very few occasions when little Japanese girls had their own parties. It sounds like it used to be quite the shin-dig.  The kids got drunk on the candy and sweets offered to the dolls. Sometimes they cooked and prepared the food and cakes to be offered to the dolls. They drank Shirozake, a sweet mild rice wine, on the occasion. The main offerings are small cakes - hishi mochi (diamond-shaped rice cakes) fruit-shaped candy, tiny white and red dainties of osekihan (glutinous rice boiled with red beans) and colored wheat gluten.

So there you have it.  The Japenese way of celebrating girls.  But I'm sure the deli guy's hershey kisses are a good substitute.

Criminal Justice in Hawaii

The Judiciary's annual report - entitled Justice in Jeopardy - details the current state of the Hawaiian Judiciary and discusses the impact that furloughs and budget cuts have had on the operation of the court system.  The report itself is 14 pages long and is a very easy read if you're interested.  However, since I know most people 1) don't care, 2) don't like to read boring things, and 3) like interesting bullet points, here is something I think people might want to know - the criminal stuff.

Before I get to the facts and figures, I have to explain why I decided to highlight this.  Every time I get asked what kind of law I practice, I calmly (and quickly) explain that I work for a judge.  Then I get asked, "so do you do prosecution or defense?"  See, I have two theories as to why this is the case:  1) the person did not read my blog post on how the judiciary works, and 2) most people get their information about the legal system from Law & Order.  So no one really understands anything beyond criminal law.  Even if they've been to civil court before, people think the "plaintiff" is the "prosecution." Besides all that, the sexy stuff of the law is found in who's going to jail.

Here is a quote from an attorney in private practice about the current criminal justice system in Hawaii: “[A]s a practicing litigator, I can share with you the impact that the budget cuts on the Judiciary have caused.  Among my case load, I have a case that is about four years old that has been ready to go to trial since late last year.  It has been delayed because of the backlog of criminal trials and was recently reset to [redacted], 2011 - a year away.  Many of my colleagues are reporting similar occurrences. The Judiciary allows economic, political and social life to function properly and it must be spared any further budget cuts.”

So here you go:  In FY2010, the Hawai'i Judiciary was involved with:


◆ 68,041 criminal traffic cases including:
          • 13,593 DWI/DUI cases
          • 1,264 reckless driving cases

◆ 94,479 District Court criminal cases including:
          • 9,413 larceny/theft cases
          • 6,154 assault cases
          • 2,169 vandalism cases
          • 1,349 prostitution cases
          • 4,096 narcotics cases
          • 1,232 sex offense cases

◆ 17,220 Circuit Court criminal cases including:
          • 178 murder & manslaughter cases
          • 97 forcible rape cases
          • 1,602 aggravated assault cases
          • 1,235 burglary cases
          • 2,686 larceny/theft cases
          • 3,633 narcotics cases

American Judicature Society's Special Committee on the Effects of the Economy on the Judiciary

As I have written about numerous times HERE and HERE, the State of Hawai'i is having budget issues (to put it mildly).  The annual budget meeting was a few weeks ago and my judge was in charge of reporting what the judiciary was feeling with respect to budget cuts and furlough days.  When I say it was my judge's job, I think we all know what that means.

My judge drafted a survey that consisted of only four questions...presumably because most lawyers are too self-important to be bothered by such non-sense as answering a few survey questions.  Anyway, I found the responses pretty interesting if simplistically obvious.  The four questions, which were sent out to the 82 judges sitting on the Family Courts, Circuit Courts, Intermediate Court of Appeals, and Hawaii Supreme Court (all state court judges) were:

1. Has your decision-making been impaired by judiciary budget cuts? If so, please explain.

2. Are you able to perform your duties so that your conduct and performance are not subject to undue pressures or criticism? If not, please explain.

3. Do you believe that budget cuts have impinged on the courts' effectiveness? If so, please explain.

4. Have the cutbacks impacted judicial independence? If so, please explain.

21 judges responded to the survey (25% response rate) and then we summarized their answers so my judge could present the findings to the American Judicature Society.  The results of the survey were used to help the Judiciary develop it's annual report on the State of the Judiciary.  In fact, today Chief Justice Mark Recktenwald delivered his first State of the Judiciary Address using a lot of the facts and figures found in the survey and report.

The report - entitled Justice in Jeopardy (pdf copy of the report) - echoes a lot of what I've written about here before - furloughs suck.  The Judiciary report sums it up a little more eloquently, though by saying "these reductions have had substantial negative effects throughout the judicial system, by reducing, delaying and in some cases eliminating important services. Notably, Hawaii’s families and most vulnerable citizens have been significantly impacted."  The report went on to discuss budget cuts by saying, "Adequately funding the state court system is an investment in justice, and an investment in our democracy that should not be compromised even during tough economic times."

Spam Musubi

My judge and I have talked numerous times about different Hawaiian foods that I have either tried or should try. He has regularly insisted that I try spam musubi.  You may remember that it is also one of the Top 5 traditional Hawaiian foods (profiled by 5@5) I wrote about before.  Well, today, my judge brought me one.  Here are my thoughts:  it doesn't taste terrible.  In fact, the spam adds some flavor to the rice, which is otherwise pretty bland.  That said, it doesn't look appetizing, AT ALL.  It is kind of slimy and has a weird texture.  One person likened the taste to a hot dog or bologna.  I more or less agree with the processed bologna, but not a hot dog.  Spam is much saltier and slimy.  Like I said, it's not terrible, so I feel comfortable recommending that you try it at least once.  If you're here visiting or something, give it a whirl.  I don't think I will make it a regular part of my diet, though.

Yes, this is an accurate depiction...

How The Courts Work

Law school and the legal profession are unique beasts.  If you're not engaged in it, you really don't understand it.  My mom, even after hearing me talk about it for the last several years still doesn't fully understand what the hell I'm talking about.  I'll throw out random acronyms (i.e. OCI, which means "on campus interviews") or I'll discuss how clerking works or I'll point out that lawyers have been some of the hardest hit by the current recession. It just doesn't sink in.  I never fully grasped that most people don't have any exposure to the legal profession outside of Law & Order.  Sure, maybe you've paid a traffic ticket.  Or maybe you've seen "And Justice For All" or watched "The Paper Chase," but unless you've been in the thick of it, whether by dating a law student/lawyer or being the parent or best friend of one, you have no idea.  Here's the problem: if you're the law student/lawyer, you forget that people have no idea.  You assume everyone knows what "Skadden" is.  You assume everyone knows why clerks don't need to be licensed in the state where they're clerking.  You assume everyone reads "Above the Law" and knows what T-14 means.  I assume most law students/lawyers assume these things because we're narcissistic.  The reality is, though, that normal people don't have a clue and don't really care.

Since moving to Hawaii, I have encountered the most non-law affiliated people I've known since college.  When people find out I'm a lawyer, they inevitably ask what kind of law I practice.  Fair question.  When I respond, "appellate law" or "I'm a clerk" or "I work for the Judiciary" I get a courtesy "oh cool" but a clearly blank expression explains it all.  It seems like unless you are a prosecutor or defense attorney or "corporate lawyer" no one has any idea what the hell a lawyer does.  Last week I had a conversation with someone who didn't really understand how the U.S. court system worked.  It occurred to me that maybe, as law students and lawyers, we take for granted that people had basic civics in elementary school didn't go to law school.  I don't think you need a law degree to know the basics, but alas, I am increasingly being proven wrong as I regularly encounter confusion from people who don't know how the U.S. court system is set up.

So here is my effort at explaining it.  The U.S. judicial system is composed of a federal system and state system.  The federal court system is divided into numerous geographic units and various levels of hierarchy. Similarly, each state has its own court system with various local "trial" courts and heirarchical "appellate" courts.  Under this dual federal/state court structure, the federal courts decide federal law or issues that arise under the federal constitution.  The highest court of each state, (usually) the State Supreme Court, has the ultimate authority to interpret State law.  For example, if you get arrested for a crime (generally) or you want to sue someone who lives in the same state as you for money (generally), you'd be in state court.  If you get arrested for being part of a multi-state gang conspiracy or you sue someone who lives in a different state from you for more than $75,000, you'll (generally) be in federal court.


The federal judiciary and the individual state judicial systems are each constructed like a pyramid. Entry-level courts at both the state and federal levels are trial courts, in which witnesses are called, other evidence is presented and the fact-finder (a jury or sometimes a judge) is called upon to decide issues of fact based on the law (i.e. were you really drunk? was the light really red?  did you have a contract?).  At the top of each pyramid structure is the court of last resort (at the federal level, the U.S. Supreme Court; at the state level, the state supreme court) which has the authority to interpret the law of that jurisdiction. In most states and in the federal system there is also a mid-level court of appeals.  When you lose in the lower courts, you can "appeal" to the higher court and ask the higher court to say that the lower court got it wrong.  Any court has the power to declare a law or government action to be unconstitutional, subject to review by a higher-level court.

Below is a graph of the FEDERAL SYSTEM:

Here is a a graph of the HAWAI'I SYSTEM (NOTE: this is a couple years old.  The Intermediate Court of Appeals has 6 judges, the Supreme Court currently has 4 sitting justices and one vacant spot waiting to be filled):

Update:  Here is a less detailed chart that makes the court hierarchy a little more clear (click to enlarge):

There is so much more I could try to explain, but hopefully this gives some idea.

Work Your Shit Out

As a child of divorce, I understand that sometimes people stupidly enter into romantic relationships without fully thinking things through.  I have several friends who got married too young and whose marriages didn't survive law school or aren't going to survive their first two years as lawyers. Or maybe one of the spouses decided that the other one was no fun anymore and went and found someone else who was more fun.  That said, there is no reason your divorce has to be ugly.  When you get divorced, work your shit out.  I could give you 100 reasons why working things out will make you a happier person and why being mad at each other only does you, and everyone around you, more harm.  But this post is not about your happiness. I do not care about your happiness.  At all.  In fact, I think far too many people have an idealized view of marriage are desperate and will jump into a wedding with the first person they see (i.e. women ages 24-27), which is really why so many marriages fall apart.  So to those people, I say you get what you deserve.

My message tonight, though, is motivated by where I am right now. Sitting at my desk on Friday night at 8pm.  Now, many of my law school friends are currently working 70+ hours a week at a BigLaw job in New York, Chicago,  Los Angeles, or San Francisco.  Yeah...well...they expected to be slaves work late at night and on weekends.  I am not at work this late because I have a slave-driver boss who emails me every 30 minutes asking me to tie his shoes.  No, I am here because a couple can't work their shit out.

Hawaii family law is ridiculous.  Among its many asinine rules is one that requires family courts to divide the parties' property within one-year of the divorce decree being entered.  Seems fair enough.  When you're divorced, a decree is entered saying you no longer have to put up with each other. Well, sometimes couples do stupid, petty shit to each other that lead to delay.  So sometimes the family courts grant the divorce but then decide issues of property division at a later date.

Here's why this is a problem in Hawaii:  If the family court does not divide the parties' property within one year from the date of the divorce decree, they cannot do it. Ever.  The family court loses jurisdiction. I know you're asking: Oh my gosh, so what happens?  Well, for starters, no one knows.  That's right, the courts here haven't really come up with an answer.  Basically, the judges try to find ways to show, in the record, that the family court "implicitly" divided the property before one year was up.  Yes, I agree, that IS cutting the bologna thin.  Essentially, there are cases that say as long as the court "implicitly divided" the property before one year was up, then it can "disburse" the property any time it wants.  So what does any of this have to do with me and my Friday night?  Well, I am sitting at my desk trying to find ANY evidence that the family court "implicitly" divided this couple's house.  Yep, this couple is fighting over a house because the husband deeded it to his friend for $1.00 and the wife is a little pissed about it.

So look, when you get divorced (and if you're a lawyer reading this, chances are you'll get divorced someday), do a recent law school graduate a favor and work your shit out.  Be reasonable.  Don't drag things through the court system just to piss each other off.  Let me go home on a Friday night.  Here, I will even offer you some assistance.  You can call the guy below (note: I do NOT actually endorse this guy.  This is a real lawyer that should be punched in the face for representing everything that is wrong with lawyers...but, to be fair, if this couple had hired him, I would not be here right now and they would not have wasted over $73,000 in attorneys' fees):

Boom. Lawyered.

It's official. I was sworn in this afternoon and am now officially a licensed attorney in the State of Illinois.  Appellate judges from any State are allowed to swear in attorneys for Illinois with the right paperwork, certification, etc.  So after oral arguments this afternoon my judge administered the Illinois oath in the Hawaii Supreme Court.  It was my own private swearing in, which was cool.  Also, my judge made a point to say a few nice things about me right before, which was unexpected but incredibly thoughtful.

I have written multiple times, I think, that although Hawaii has some back asswards ways of doing things, one thing they cannot be faulted for is their "aloha spirit" and family-focused approach to each other.  My swearing in experience only affirmed this spirit.  Earlier in the week, unbeknownst to me, our judicial assistant sent an email to everyone on the Court telling them that we were doing my swearing in after oral arguments and inviting everyone to come over and congratulate me.  I had two people come up to me and apologize that they weren't going to be around today, but they just wanted to congratulate me.  When the time finally came, there were maybe 12 people who came over to say congratulations and observe my giving the oath.  After I took the oath, I got three leis.  No kidding.  Getting a lei is a sign of congratulations, achievement, and family.  Sure, when the Chief Justice of the Hawai'i Supreme Court was sworn in, he received about 100, but I am well on my way!

Being able to share the experience with people who treated me like family was great.  Obviously all of my Chicago lawyer friends were already sworn in back home and I couldn't go.  So it was nice to be able to get it done here in such a great environment.  Despite everything we read about lawyers, everything bar associations across the country are doing that degrade the profession, and every lawyer in advertisements giving the legal profession a bad name, I do still have an idealized view of the law and the role of lawyers in society.  I look forward to a career as a lawyer.

Supreme Court Christmas Party

When I wrote before that Christmas in Hawaii is a big deal, I wasn't kidding.  In addition to a Christmas lights parade downtown, there is also a boat parade showcasing Christmas lights, we had a massive office party with 100+ people last week, and yesterday the Supreme Court had its own lunchtime Christmas party.  Although it was nice, I don't think it holds a candle to ours.  It did last a lot longer, though.  We showed up at 11:30 and didn't get out of there until about 2:00.  The entrees were all catered and thus not nearly as much homemade food.  There was slightly more traditional Hawaiian food, though.

Christmas Tree in Supreme Court Lobby

I tried also Poi for the first time.  It was an experience, that's for sure.  Poi is a very traditional Hawaiian dish made from the Taro plant.  Poi is produced by mashing the cooked corm (baked or steamed) of the taro plant until it becomes a highly viscous fluid. Water is added during mashing and again just before eating, to achieve a desired consistency, which can range from liquid to dough-like (poi can be known as two-finger or three-finger, alluding to how many fingers you would have to use to eat it, depending on its consistency).  It's like a paste.  I thought it tasted terrible and had a bitter, sour taste.  Don't tell any Hawaiians I said that, though.  They'll kick me off the island.  I was sitting next to our secretary who basically pour herself a bowl and ate it like soup.  She ate it ALL.  Poi is like sex to these people...they love it.

Poi

Anyway, the rest of the party involved more door prizes.  Everyone picked a number out of a hat and then received a corresponding gift.  I got a big coffee mug and some Hawaiian-made coffee.  There were also gift cards, homemade energy bars (that are quite delicious - they're made from oats, chocolate chips, and molasses), and see's candy.  Unlike our office party where everyone walked around and mingled, the Supreme Court party had plenty of tables where people could sit and talk with their table.  While people sat and ate, there was also a professional hula dancer who performed.  Finally, they also did a law-related movie trivia game.  The twist, though, was that members of the judiciary would act out scenes from movies and the tables, as a team, had to guess the name of the movie and one of the actors in the scene.  Our table was full of judges and it was VERY competitive.  We were actually in first place throughout the game, but then ended in a tie for first.  It came down to a tie breaker, which was to guess the number of minutes Chief Justice Recktenwald has been in office.  We lost.  Very disappointing, especially because everyone on the winning team received gift cards to various places around Honolulu. I hate losing.

Holiday Party

Office Christmas Tree

Today was our office holiday party, but in Hawai'i that carries a whole new meaning.  First of all, I know a number of lawyers at big firms where a holiday party includes a lot of alcohol and catering and networking.  It's not quite the same when you work for the Hawaii State Government.  We have 30 people who work in the office, but everything is about Ohana (family) here.  That means that when you throw a party, you invite everyone.  There were over 100 people crammed in our tiny office eating and snacking and having a good time.  It was during the day, which was done so more people could come.  It also means no outrageous stories.

Hallway Decorations

Setting up for this party reminded me of home, actually.  I have a pretty big family (8 aunts and uncles, 30+ first cousins) and holidays are our only chance to get everyone together at the same time.  The family Christmas party every year is a complete and total mad house with kids running around doing God-knows-what.  Everyone brings a different food item.  There are amazing smells wafting in the halls and kitchen.  There is always someone's girlfriend/boyfriend/random friend that no one knows.  We catch up on school, work, and life.  We also do a secret Santa where everyone gets the chance to do something nice for a brother, sister, or cousin.  It's my favorite time of year.
 

Dessert Table

Our holiday party was exactly like a family event at home.  The secretaries were amazing.  They got most of the food from caterers, but also made about a dozen homemade items.  There were TONS of homemade desserts, crab dip, crab/vegetable sushi, Bulgogi pork, Kalua pork, garlic chicken, chips/dip, pasta salad, and spinach salad.  Setting up for the party was a hectic dash to make everything come together, but somehow it did.  When everyone arrived, we were all milling around bumping into each other, meeting new people, and catching up with old friends.  On top of all that, EVERYONE also got a gift.  Nothing major, just gift cards, poinsettias, little christmas trees, tins of cookies/candy, kitchen supplies, or other random gifts.  Do people need the gifts? No.  But it wasn't about that.

Setting up the food table

I think sometimes people look at gift-giving as a hassle or burden.  Or maybe they think, "well, the person doesn't care, why give a gift."  Our secretaries went out and bought all these gifts, wrapped them ALL, and then put them around the office with an assigned number.  When people showed up, they picked a number out of a hat and had to find their gift.  Everyone had a great time searching around.  Not one secretary complained while they were putting in the time for this.  They had fun. Yes, I am traditional, that's true.  But it seems to me that Christmas is the one time a year where families get a chance to do something nice for each other. Who cares if it's small?  Gestures are a big deal and they mean a lot.

We decorated EVERYTHING

Recently some grinches people in my family decided they no longer wanted to do the secret santa.  They didn't want to spend the $20 on a gift card.  Not only did they not want to spend money on family, they didn't want to deal with the hassle.  Nevermind that they don't even need to buy a gift.  Whatever happened to making someone dinner as a gift?  Or taking someone to lunch?  Or babysitting?  This week I saw 6 secretaries wrap 100+ gifts for co-workers, colleagues, and people they didn't even know, all without complaining.  They made dozens of homemade desserts and entrees, all without complaining.  I think people who complain about having to go to the store to get a gift card might want to take the stick out of their ass.  So while Hawaii has its quirks, for sure, one thing I love about it is that everyone is family here and they treat each other accordingly.

Day 100

I have officially been in Hawaii for 100 days.  Although that doesn't sound like much, it has felt ridiculously long.  Someone suggested the other day...again, not in the comments!...that I talk about what the first 100 days has felt like.  To be honest, I'm not sure yet how I feel about the entire experience.  Obviously I am doing a lot and experiencing a lot of the island culture.  That said, I also miss being close to my friends and family.  Turns out, it's pretty impractical to just fly home for a weekend when you live in Hawaii.  Before I left everyone kept telling me what a tremendous opportunity it was to live out here for a couple years.  "When else will you have the time to live in Hawaii," they said.  I also talked to several lawyers who are well into their careers and they all repeated the same thing, "if I could go back and had the chance to clerk in Hawaii, I would definitely do it."  So alas, I took the leap of faith, sold all my stuff and moved out here with 2 suitcases and no place to live (yeah, I stayed in hotels the first 10 days until I found a place).

I think most of my friends would say that, as a general rule, I hate change.  At the same time, I have a tremendous fear of waking up one day and looking back at a life spent doing nothing.  I can't think of anything worse than being stationary.  Consequently, I tend to seek out new opportunities and adventures and (begrudgingly) welcome radical change.  Hawai'i, while I criticize it sometimes for its ass backwards way of doing things, is proving to be an experience and challenge that I am happy I embraced (begrudgingly, of course).  I've always loved to travel, and I regularly try to figure out ways to get someone to pay me for it.  I also have a few bucket list destinations floating around in my head that I insist will come to fruition one day.  One of the toughest things about moving here, though, was that it seemed like so much more than just a "trip."  1) I'll be far away from friends/family for two years, and 2) I just spent the last 8 years in school preparing for a career that, for all intents and purposes, won't start until I get back.  Selling and packing your life away to move to a new place, to a new part of the world, and leaving everything else behind is a pretty daunting feeling.  I wholeheartedly recommend it.

I recently read two blogs by guys I went to middle school and high school with.  One is teaching English in China for 2 years and the other recently got back from teaching English in China for 2 years and is now a radio broadcaster in Alaska.  I don't know why, but reading about their experiences made me feel much better about being isolated in the middle of the pacific ocean.  I mean, the first thing I realized is that things could obviously be much worse: Being in an entire country of Asians? No, thank you.  Being in a place where temperatures can drop to -50 degrees? I'll pass. At least it's warm here and people speak English.  The second thing is that they helped me remember how young we are.  At some point in the process of moving here I think I forgot that.   Almost everyday I hear about people I went to high school with buying houses, getting married, settling into their careers, etc.  I have no interest in that stuff right now and am nowhere near being ready for it.  Nonetheless, hearing it everyday made me think that here I was finishing law school - the point at which your career is supposed to start - and I up and move to Hawai'i.  It was nice to hear about other people tackling new adventures.  It made me much less crazy.

I know what you may be thinking: uhh...are you complaining about living in Hawaii!?  No, I am not.  Just the opposite, in fact.  I am fully embracing the adventure.  That doesn't mean it's always easy.  Overall, I have been pleasantly surprised by the last 100 days.  Having moved from a big city with plenty to do, I was nervous that I would get bored quickly.  Instead, I have been shocked at how much there is to do here and I look forward to doing even more.