My message tonight, though, is motivated by where I am right now. Sitting at my desk on Friday night at 8pm. Now, many of my law school friends are currently working 70+ hours a week at a BigLaw job in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, or San Francisco. Yeah...well...they expected to
Hawaii family law is ridiculous. Among its many asinine rules is one that requires family courts to divide the parties' property within one-year of the divorce decree being entered. Seems fair enough. When you're divorced, a decree is entered saying you no longer have to put up with each other. Well, sometimes couples do stupid, petty shit to each other that lead to delay. So sometimes the family courts grant the divorce but then decide issues of property division at a later date.
Here's why this is a problem in Hawaii: If the family court does not divide the parties' property within one year from the date of the divorce decree, they cannot do it. Ever. The family court loses jurisdiction. I know you're asking: Oh my gosh, so what happens? Well, for starters, no one knows. That's right, the courts here haven't really come up with an answer. Basically, the judges try to find ways to show, in the record, that the family court "implicitly" divided the property before one year was up. Yes, I agree, that IS cutting the bologna thin. Essentially, there are cases that say as long as the court "implicitly divided" the property before one year was up, then it can "disburse" the property any time it wants. So what does any of this have to do with me and my Friday night? Well, I am sitting at my desk trying to find ANY evidence that the family court "implicitly" divided this couple's house. Yep, this couple is fighting over a house because the husband deeded it to his friend for $1.00 and the wife is a little pissed about it.
So look, when you get divorced (and if you're a lawyer reading this, chances are you'll get divorced someday), do a recent law school graduate a favor and work your shit out. Be reasonable. Don't drag things through the court system just to piss each other off. Let me go home on a Friday night. Here, I will even offer you some assistance. You can call the guy below (note: I do NOT actually endorse this guy. This is a real lawyer that should be punched in the face for representing everything that is wrong with lawyers...but, to be fair, if this couple had hired him, I would not be here right now and they would not have wasted over $73,000 in attorneys' fees):