Holiday Decorations

Let me just say that I am not a scrooge.  I like Christmas.  I like the tradition, the lights, the presents, and the general feelings of good cheer that envelopes everyone.  Does that mean that I want to brave the mall a week before Christmas? No.  Does that mean I want to sit around and bake holiday cookies with my mother and sister and talk about our feelings? No.  Does that mean I want to spend an afternoon with my colleagues decorating our office? No.  As I think I've written before, there are 12 clerks on our court and we are split between two rooms.  Despite having 6 people in a room, there is very little interaction between us.  The University of Hawaii kids talk to each other and largely ignore anyone else, which is fine with me.  I just sit down, do my work, and hang out with the other non-UH clerk.  Today we all received this email from our "Administrative Clerk."

Hi all,

Apologies for the short notice, but we need to meet tomorrow at 3:00 for two purposes. 

(1) We need to collectively create a hand-made holiday tree ornament, and I figure we could brainstorm for 15-20 minutes on what we'd like to do.  [Redacted] has pulled a few ornaments made by past year's clerks to give us ideas.

(2) After the brainstorm session, we need to decorate the hallways for the holidays.  Please be sure to get your judge's/JA's approval prior to participating in the decorating.

Thanks all, see you tomorrow at 3:00 in the library.

-[Redacted]

First, note the email's matter-of-fact tone.  You can disregard the "ask permission" section of the email.  This "decorating session" is not optional.  You may be wondering, what's the big deal? You don't have anything better to do.  You spend all your time blogging, anyway.  Do I have anything better to do than sitting in a room "brainstorming" about a stupid ass ornament? Yes.  I think the janitor is painting the downstairs hallway...I might go help him watch it dry.  Or maybe I want to just sit with my thumb up my ass.

Second, note the "urgency" of the email.  The email was on short notice.  In other words, this is so urgent that we can't wait until we get regular notice...say...Monday. Or even Friday.  No, "we need to meet tomorrow at 3:00."  When I started reading this I thought perhaps we were going to have to discuss a lack of production among the clerks or a serious case coming up for oral argument in December.  Nooo.  A "holiday tree" ornament.  That's urgent business.  Also, how long does it take to figure out a Christmas...err...sorry...holiday ornament?  No wonder Hawai'i can't figure out its budget issues.  It takes 20 minutes to brainstorm a damn ornament.  They're still brainstorming about whether to tell us we're in a recession.

Third, what the $#*! is a "holiday tree?"  Are we going to have some "holiday candles" for Jews?  No, it's a Christmas Tree and a Menorah.  I recognize that we are not necessarily celebrating the religious components of these holidays, but let's not pretend that they don't exist.  This is just political correctness gone crazy.  We know it's a Christmas tree.  Why hide it?  If you're the type of person to be offended by calling it a Christmas tree, do you feel THAT much better if we change the name but still display it prominently in the conference room?  Does this mean no Santa ornaments?  What about Rudolph?  See what happens when you get politically correct?  Maybe that's why we need to brainstorm for 20 minutes.  We need to discuss what's "appropriate."  With that said, do you now see why I don't want to spend my afternoon in a room with these people?  Just imagine how fun a group of "holiday-tree decorators" are at a party.