Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bar Exam Results

They're not out yet, but it's close.  We were told that the results would be out in the first week or two of October.  However, every year for the last couple years the results have come out on October 1st.  Tomorrow. The single scariest thing for any recent law school graduate is the bar exam and ensuing results.  Months of preparation.  Two days (or three, depending on the State) of marathon test-taking.  Three years of your life on the line.  Studying for the bar was a nightmare of stress and anxiety.  Worst of all, it comes so quickly.  In May you think there is plenty of time and all is right with the world.  You just graduated.  You spend several glorious days basking in the odor of a care-free and alcohol-induced stupor.  But before you know it, it's mid-July. Suddenly you notice that you've stopped showering regularly.  Shaving takes time you can't afford.  The laundry pile is out of control.  That doesn't really matter, though, because you haven't changed clothes in days. Finally, you take the test and it's painfully anti-climatic.  You're done with the studying and test-taking, but you won't find out the results for months.  You know you missed things and are sure you failed.  You try to re-gain your previous awesome-ness but realize that the bar exam has destroyed your alcohol tolerance, and now every sentence out of your mouth inevitably contains some weird legal jargon that serves no purpose other than to repel the opposite sex at the bar.

Now the results are potentially a day away and everyone's life hangs in the balance. If you have not studied, or taken, the bar exam, this probably seems like a drastic overreaction that a solid dose of Xanax could easily fix.  After all, it is just a test.  If you don't pass, you can take it again.  I realize that I may not be the most reliable source since I am currently waiting on my results.  But let me just say that I am not crazy.  I am not the only one who feels this way.  On top of the anxiety associated with this life-defining test is the fact that the results are PUBLIC.  You don't have the choice to lie and tell everyone you passed when you really didn't.  Nope.  Everyone can just go to the list and check for your name.  If it's not there, you're the asshole who didn't pass the bar.  You might as well quit life because it's all downhill from there.

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