Electric Beach

When I was learning to scuba dive, one of my classes was over at a place called "Electric Beach."  I had never been there as this is a 40 minute drive from Honolulu.  It's named Electric Beach because of the Hawaiian Electric Power plant located across the street.  Anyway, it turns out the name of the beach is actually Kahe Point Beach Park.  This is one of the best snorkeling areas on the island and is located on the west side of O'ahu, just north of the Ko Olina Resorts.

The electric plant takes in the cold water and outflows clean warm water through two giant cooling pipes about 100 yards offshore.  At the openings of these pipes the water temperature is several degrees warmer than the surrounding ocean, which attracts scores of sea life. Electric Beach is arguably best suited for the intermediate to advanced level snorkeler as there is a moderate swim involved and no life guards are in the area.  If you have flippers, however, I think even beginners are probably okay if they go in a group.  The toughest part is that there is a strong current (created by the in/out flow of the pipe) that can present a challenge to swim against.

The water is about 30 feet deep at the opening of the pipes, giving you a bird’s eye view of the schooling fish. Large smooth boulders cover the pipes but most of the sea floor is made up of white sand and some coral flats. To get there you just take H-1 WEST until you pass Ko Olina resorts on your left.  Keep going another mile or two and the beach park is directly across from the power plant.  You can't miss it.  Enter the water at the small sand beach just to the right of the large pavilion. You'll see a bunch of scuba divers and people just hanging out and BBQ-ing on the grass and sand.  When we were there on Monday everyone was out with coolers and grills and big speakers enjoying Memorial Day.  

Word of caution: there’s certainly going to be some breaking waves near shore, so keep a hold of your mask and fins as you enter. The combination of the waves and sand beach make the water near shore very cloudy, but just keep swimming out and just past the waves the water will clear up dramatically. 

So you want me to jump in the big ocean and look for a couple of what? Pipes? Don't worry, finding these giant pipes is a lot easier than it sounds. Before getting in the water, look out into the ocean about 100 yards from shore. You’ll see what looks like two rivers colliding where the water is churning. It will look like a huge bubbling spring just off shore. Make a mental note of where the "spring” is located and how far out it is. When you get into the water you’ll be able to swim straight to the opening of the pipes.

The marine life out here is pretty awesome.  It really is like swimming through an aquarium.  There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of tropical fish swimming around in schools next to the pipe.  We saw eels, sea turtles, angel fish, and cormetfish.  There are also sea urchins and other cool stuff to see.  If you decide you want to snorkel and want to avoid the cost and hassle of going to Hanauma Bay where all the tourists go, then I highly recommend Electric Beach.  Just be aware that in addition to no lifeguard on duty, there are also no stores nearby to buy drinks or food so remember to bring a cooler with snacks.  You'll want to eat/drink something when you get out of the water.

Here is two-page list of fish you can expect to see in Hawaii with pictures of each fish (yes, the pdf is from Hanauma Bay, but the fish are seen at Electric Beach, too).

Sandbar Kaneohe

Kāneʻohe Bay is the largest sheltered body of water in the main Hawaiian Islands. This reef-dominated bay constitutes a significant scenic and recreational feature along the windward (northeast) coast of the Island of Oʻahu. The Bay is approximately 8 mi long and 2.7 mi broad, with a mouth opening of about 4.6 mi and maximum depth of 40 ft in the dredged channel. Features unique in the main Hawaiian Islands include one of only two barrier reefs (the other being the 27 mile barrier reef of Molokaʻi island) and extensive development of shoaling coral reefs within a large lagoon.

Prior to last weekend I had never actually been to the bay.  I've played golf over near Kaneohe and the Valley of the Temples is over there, but I had heard the bay is gorgeous.  Anyway, last week the group of people I met at the pro bowl decided to go sailing and invited me to tag along.  They have a 43-foot sailboat that they take out every once in a while and anchor it out at the sandbar in the middle of the bay.  The sandbar is also something I had heard about but had never seen.  

The Kaneohe Sandbar, also known as Ahu o Laka, is a popular picnicking spot among local Oahu residents, particularly among those who have a boat or access to a boat or kayak. It’s the only sandbar of this kind in Hawaii. During low tide, it emerges and forms a shallow and temporary land. During high tide, the water is about hip-deep and deeper towards the edges of the sandbar. People come here to picnic, swim, snorkel, dive, play ball games, or to just relax.  The water is calm and clear and the views are amazing. While you're out on the water you can see the entire Kaneohe Bay from an ocean vantage point, the Koolau Mountains and the small offshore islands of Chinaman’s Hat, Coconut Island and Kekepa (Turtleback Island).

So while we were out there, we had snacks and booze and sun.  What more could you possibly ask for?  We also threw the football and frisbee around just to entertain ourselves.  The real fun came at the end of the day, though.  I suppose everyone just got so caught up in the fun that no one actually seemed to notice the tide change.  Check the tide table before heading out to the sandbar so you know in advance if it’s high or low tide. The activities that you can do on the sandbar vary slightly during these different ocean conditions. You can take out your chairs and put them on the sandbar only during low tide, for example.  Well, your boat can also get stuck in the sand if the tide goes from high to low and you're not paying attention.  This happened to us.  To make a long story short, everyone had to get off the boat and push it out of the sand.  Initially that wasn't enough.  We had to put the sails up, start the motor, and THEN push.  It was all pretty hilarious.  It looked like a Chinese fire drill with about 8 people jumping on and off the boat to get this thing un-stuck.

Overall, it was a fun day.  We are actually going back this weekend!

Scuba Certification

This weekend was incredibly busy for me.  I spent the last four days getting my scuba certification, which was incredibly time-consuming, but also one of my goals while in Hawaii.  I had never been scuba diving before, but found it to be a lot of fun.  The first two days were spent in a pool just practicing various skills that are necessary for the certification.  For example, you have to practice what happens if your mask falls off (or gets kicked off) or what happens if you run out of air or how to rescue an unconscious person at the bottom of the ocean.

After the first two days, our second two days were spent in the ocean doing actual dives.  We did two tank dives on Saturday and Sunday.  Each tank has 3,000 psi (or about 45-60 minutes of breathing time).  Saturday and Sunday were more practice drills and skills tests, but we also got to look for cool stuff.  The places we went - Electric beach and Ala Moana beach - were not the coolest dives in the world, but they were still pretty awesome.  I think I was most surprised by the great visibility.  It was, for the most part, like being in a pool.

Electric beach is called that because it is right next to an electrical power plant on the West side of O'ahu.  There is a big pipe in the water where the plant takes in cold water and pushes out hot water.  A reef has developed around it and there are thousands of fish living there.  When we got in the water, we swam through two giant schools of fish (I don't know what kind of fish).  It was like swimming inside an aquarium.  On Sunday, we went to Ala Moana beach and although the visibility was not quite as good, we swam right next to a huge sea turtle (pictured below), which was pretty cool.

Picture taken by one of the other divers

So now the advantage of having a scuba certification is that I can go on boat dives through local dive shops for about $65-75 instead of the $250 they usually charge tourists.

Rum Fire

Rum Fire at the Sheraton Waikiki (2255 Kalakaua Avenue - see map here) is an awesome spot for sunset cocktails or drinks on the water.  The only real appeal to this place is the ambiance.  The service is actually terrible.  I have gone there maybe 5-6 times and I have yet to be even moderately impressed with their service.  The waitresses (they've all been women so far) are slow and unfriendly.  Every time we've been there we've had to specifically ask someone to take our drink order or to ask for another drink.  But maybe it's been busy and they were overwhelmed?  Nope.  I've been there when it's busy during their nightcap specials, I've been there in the middle of the afternoon on a Monday, and I've been there in the evening on a Saturday.  The service is terrible.

So why do I tell everyone to go here when they visit Honolulu?  Because if you go during Happy Hour or during their nightcap specials (i.e. when drinks/food are cheap) and have a drink while sitting outside looking out over the water with Diamond Head in the distance, it's pretty much impossible to be upset about anything (see the pictures?).  If you sit close to the bar, it can get loud, though, so I recommend trying to find a seat outside.  I have never had a problem finding a table outside (just a problem getting served).

I've never had dinner there and I rarely see people with entrees, but I have had lunch and I would recommend passing.  The sandwich I ordered tasted fine, but what you get does not justify the cost.  You're better off sticking to pre-dinner drinks/appetizers during happy hour (4-6pm M-F) or the nightcap specials (9:30-11:15pm M-F).  Here is a copy of their happy hour menu if you're interested.  Cocktails during this time are $5, draft beer is $3, house wine is $5, certain shots are $3, and appetizers (i.e. edamame, nachos, baby back ribs, chicken wings, fish tacos, chips and salsa, etc.) range from $4 to $10.  Overall, if you can go and just relax and remember that you're not on the mainland and just enjoy the company and scenery, it's a must-go place.  You can view their lunch menu here and dinner menu here.

Yep.

You Can't Do This in Chicago

Every once in a while, I have what I like to call "Hawaii Moments."  By this, I mean that I occasionally look around and take notice of the fact that I live in a pretty amazing place.  Maybe it's the 80 degree weather on December 6th.  Maybe it's crystal clear blue ocean on gorgeous white sand beaches.  Maybe it's the towering mountains that dot the background.  I also usually notice these things while holding a drink in my hand at times when I know my lawyer friends back home are stuck at the office, huddled over a desk doing doc review.  These revelations have a way of putting life in perspective.  Yesterday and last night would qualify.  I spent the entire day walking through Waikiki along the strip.  It was 83 degrees, everyone was out milling about, and the sun was shimmering against the unusually calm ocean.  After that, my friends and I grabbed dinner, got a slice of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory and a bottle of wine from one of the ubiquitous ABC stores and headed the beach at nine o'clock at night.  We sat on the beach where one of the restaurants behind us played live music and we all just hung out on the beach until the wine was gone.  This stuff happens pretty much every weekend.

China Walls

China Walls is another name for an area overlooking Portluck Point on the Southeastern point of O'ahu.  As you're driving toward Hanauma Bay, Sandy's Beach, and Dragon's Nostrils, you'll pass Hawai'i Kai, a fairly affluent area of Honolulu.  When you get to the Foodland, turn right on Lunalilio Rd and then turn right on Portluck Rd.  Park anywhere around there and walk down the hill.  You'll see people hanging down on the rocks/cliff.  This place has one of the best views in the city for sunset and most travel books don't even talk about it.  The sun sets right over Diamond Head.  You won't see signs for it, either, but locals know it as a great place for surfing and cliff jumping.

This is not a beach.  It is just a cliff wall where you can jump into the water, watch surfers, and watch the sunset. China Walls is infamous both for its breathtaking beauty as well as treacherous waters. Due to the numerous fatalities that have taken place over the years, China Walls has gained the reputation of being unpredictable and deadly.  If you hit this spot during the week you’ll probably luck out and find it empty. Stay away during the weekends, it gets crowded.  The locals here are extremely friendly, even if some of them look young and rough, and they love to talk about this place.  Don’t be shy about striking up a conversation with anyone you see there.

When I first moved here, I came here with a few friends and it was a cool place to hang out for a little while.  You wouldn't make this a day activity, but it's something to do if you're in the Hawai'i Kai area for dinner (Roy's - the famous restaurant by James Beard award winner Roy Yamaguchi - is located here) or something.  It's also a good place to stop on your way back from East O'ahu.

Ala Moana Beach

Ala Moana Beach

This is a beautiful 76 acre park located along the south shore just west of Waikiki and on your way to downtown Honolulu and Chinatown. Ala Moana is a 100-acre park that has a wide gold-sand beach over a half-mile long.  There is also a big grassy area, banyans and palm trees that make the park a good place to picnic, barbecue, and play all kinds of games.  A good 2.5 mi. paved path that is good for running encircles the entire park.  There are lifeguards, showers, bathrooms, phones, tennis courts, picnic tables, food concessions, and a music pavilion.  Ala Moana Beach Park is a favorite among Honolulu residents because it offers a large enough space to picnic and barbecue and is away from tourists (for the most part). The beach itself is protected by a reef so the water is insanely calm.  There are none of the waves you'll see at Waikiki or Sandy's (the other nearby beaches on the South Shore).  As a result, it is a great place to bring kids.  It's also really big with plenty of space to run around.  On the weekends, A LOT of people come here with their whole ohana (family) to picnic, swim and hang out.

There are two downsides to this beach, in my opinion.  The first is the crowd.  If you're looking for a quiet, relaxing day at the beach, you can find it here IF you don't mind screaming kids EVERYWHERE.  Obviously I accept that it is a beach and it is a family-friendly beach park.  That doesn't mean I necessarily like hearing kids scream.  With so many of them, though, this is more of a family beach than a place to relax for the day.  The second "downside" is the coarse, rough sand.  The sand at Lanikai, Sandy's, and even Waikiki is much nicer.  There are a lot of small rocks and sticks strewn all over this beach, which makes it less enjoyable.  The advantages, though, are that the water is much calmer (i.e. better than Sandy's) and there are full facilities and a big park (i.e. better than Lanikai).  I'd still pick Lanikai any day of the week, though.  The water at Ala Moana is very nice, to be sure, but some parts have jagged rocks, which make wading in some parts of the water uncomfortable.  As a result, everyone tends to congregate in the same area (i.e. lots of kids).  If you come for the tennis, picnics, barbecues, or running, though, then this spot has everything you need.

Ala Moana Park

There is, however, a cool back story to this beach.  Ala Moana (and Waikiki actually) is an area of Honolulu that used to be a swamp. It was a wetland that the city used as a garbage dump. Wanting to develop the Waikiki area, though, hotel moguls needed to divert the water.  So they hired a dredging company to build the Ala Wai canal.  Then, a boat channel was created to connect the Ala Wai Boat Harbor with Kewalo Basin.  All of the land over by Ala Moana, including the beach park is man-made.  It was created by the owner of the Dillingham Dredging Company, hired to dredge the Ala Wai canal, who was looking for a place to dispose of his dredged earth.  So in the 1950s, sand was dumped at this park, which created the beach. Today, in addition to the beach park, there is a really nice mall, high rise hotels, restaurants, and a fishing village (anyone familiar with Streeterville in Chicago should understand this concept).

Ala Wai Canal

Na Pali Coast and Hanakapi'ai Falls

The Na Pali Coast, which is officially a State Park, may be one of the most breathtaking things I have ever seen.  It's hard to describe in words and even in pictures don't really do it justice.  The entire coast is inaccessible to cars so you have to drive to the end of Kauai's only main road (Kuhio), park at the beach at the end of the road, and hike the coast.  This 15-mile stretch of rugged coastline is on the northwest shore of Kauai.  It literally means "the cliffs" (remember, Pali means cliffs).  The coast is inaccessible because of its sheer cliffs that drop straight down thousands of feet into the ocean.


The Kalalau Trail from the end of Kuhio Highway (the only major road on the entire island) provides the only land access.  This trail is a strenuous 11-mile hike and crosses five major valleys (and many smaller ones) before reaching Kalalau Beach at the base of Kalalau Valley.  If you hike the 11 mile trail, you have to set up camp and then hike back the next day (camping requires a permit).  We didn't have that kind of time (or a permit).  The trail is no joke.  I have written before about hikes I've done that kids and old people can do.  This trail got a 9 out of 10 from the Sierra Club in degrees of difficulty.  In fact, you can't even hike the trail if it has rained within 24 hours because it is so dangerous and becomes one slippery mountain of mud.  It takes an entire day to do the 11 miles.  Of course, here I am saying how tough it is and there were plenty of kids and locals hiking barefoot or in flip flops (most were not, though). Another great way to see the Na Pali Coast is by boat.  We didn't do this, but we said at the end of the day it would have been amazing.  By boat you can see the entire coast and you don't have to deal with the strenuous hike.

Fortunately, the trail can be experienced in pieces.  The most popular section is from Ke'e Beach (at the end of Kuhio Hwy) to Hanakapi'ai Falls.  This section of the trail winds through a tropical rainforest and ends in a lush river valley. The falls are 4 miles from where you park your car (8 miles roundtrip, it's not a loop).  If you aren't up for the whole hike to the falls, though, about 2 miles in is the Hanakapi'ai Beach.  This isn't the most beautiful beach in the world, but it's a great place to rest before taking on the next 2 miles of the trail to the falls.  The river flows into the ocean here and when we went, a lot of people were playing in the river.  Apparently, the tide and currents are so strong that no one goes in the ocean.  In fact, before we left, someone specifically said not to go in the ocean because "it's not worth your life, guys."  There is a sign along the trail that literally tallies the number of people who have drowned.  We weren't dressed for swimming anyway.  Since a lot of people kayak the Na Pali coast, there were a few kayakers resting on the beach as well.

I can't emphasize enough how intense, but gorgeous, this hike was.  We're talking 3,000 foot climbs over unstable and slippery rocks, rivers and streams to cross, trees to climbs over, and valleys with smaller waterfalls.  We had to watch every step we took.  The first 1/2 mile took 40 minutes.  The entire 4-mile hike to the falls takes about 3 hours...and we were going quickly.  It can take longer.  The views were incredible, though.  There are various points along the trail where the trees open up and the entire coast is visible.  You're literally standing on a mountain (covered in mud) looking out over shimmering blue water, 4,000-ft cliffs, and lush tropical rainforests.  After 2 miles (and about an hour and a half), we made it to the beach where we stopped to have lunch.  Apparently, we were lucky and didn't even know it.  During the winter months this beach is often washed away.  When we went, though, there was a huge sand beach full of people.
  

After we ate, we hiked the rest of the way.  The second half consists of more streams (high probability of getting wet - we fell in up to our knees when we slipped off a rock - so bring waterproof hiking boots or water shoes), more jungle, and more climbing.  At the end of the trail, though, is a gorgeous 300-ft waterfall with a swimming pool at the base.  Since you just hiked 4 miles in 3-4 hours (and you still have to turn around), take a dip, cool off, and forget about Leptospirosis.  Also, since nothing on this blog comes without a fun history lesson, I thought you'd want to know that the falls are named after a Menehune princess descended from the first human settlers to canoe here from the Marquesas Islands (part of modern day French Polynesia).  Here is a video of the falls:

Halona Beach and Blowhole

Halona Blowhole

The Halona Blowhole is a well-known and often visited tourist spot on Oahu's south shore, right next to Sandy's Beach and on the way to Makapu'u and Dragon's Nostrils along Hwy 72. A blowhole is a lava tube under the water and at the perfect height for waves to be driven into it.  The water is compressed as the lava tube becomes smaller and smaller causing the pressure to increase forcing a stream of water to shoot up to thirty-feet into the air.  It's always a good idea to not stick your head directly over the blowhole, which I did at Dragon's Nostrils.  Turns out it is really loud and sounds like the water will take your head off.

There is a scenic point with a big sign that says, "Halona Blowhole Scenic Point."  You can't miss it, particularly with the ass load of rental cars parked in the parking lot.  The scenic point is a couple hundred feet above the ocean and looks down onto Halona Beach, the blowhole, and Sandy's Beach.  As you look down on Halona Beach, you can see a lot of locals playing in the violent waves below.  Known as "The Peering Place," Halona Beach is really more of a cove and is situated to the right of the blowhole. The rocky cove has a small sandy beach and crowded water. This beach is probably best known as the site of the famous love scene between Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in the 1953 movie, From Here to Eternity.  If you've ever seen 50 First Dates with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler, this is the spot where they first kiss.

View from the Scenic Point

You should also know that the beach has no facilities, no lifeguards, and you have to climb down some steep rocks to get there.  However, once you go down, you can climb on the rocks and mountains that are adjacent to the beach and look out over the water.  If the tide is up, these waves crash violently into the rocks and splash water a good 20-30 feet in the air.  It makes for some cool pictures.  If you're pressed for time on your way to seeing and doing other things, it's not necessary to climb down to the beach and up the other side.  However, if you're just having a leisurely day, then I say give it a try.

Halona Beach Cove From the Rocks Next to the Beach

Haole in Hawaii

Before I moved to Hawaii, I had a professor tell me how lucky I was to be moving to a place with so much racial and ethnic diversity.  He told me all about how President Obama's book, Dreams From My Father, painted a pleasant image of racial relations in Hawaii.  The book is not the only place Obama praised race relations in Hawaii.  He was also lauded for his speech, A More Perfect Union, which among other things, mentioned the way Hawaii's diverse population and racial harmony could serve as an example to guide the rest of America.  However, I saw an article today that exposes the notion of Hawaiian racial harmony as not exactly accurate...at least not if you're white.  Have I seen crotchety old asian women give me dirty looks on my commute to work?  Sure.  But when this happens I don't automatically assume they are racist.  I'm not Jesse Jackson.

If you've been watching Hawaii Five-0, then you've undoubtedly heard the word "Haole" (pronounced: HOW - LEE).  It means "white person."  Many Hawaiian locals in the show use it to refer to Steve McGarrett or his partner Danno in a derogatory or demeaning way.  It is not necessarily an insult, though.  It can also be used matter-of-factly.  For example, many people refer to Colt Brennan - the (white) University of Hawaii quarterback who led the Warriors to an undefeated season in 2007 - as "everyone's favorite haole."

More often than not, though, it's derogatory.  This became all too apparent to me this weekend when I learned a new phrase - "HTW."  It is uttered by non-white people (even white-wash Asians who grew up on the mainland but like to pretend they're locals) and means "Haole, That's Why."  You can hear it said if a white person does something inconsistent with Hawaiian culture.  For example, "Why doesn't she eat Spam?" HTW.  "Why doesn't he wear an Aloha (Hawaiian) shirt?" HTW.  "Why is he tall?"  HTW.

Now, I always shrug off suggestions of underlying racism, both when asserted by my minority friends back home and when people here claim haoles are treated differently.  If someone gives me a dirty look because I'm white...well...I have made enough racist jokes that I probably deserve it.  Such is life.  This article suggested, however, that haole-based racism may actually be a legitimate problem in Hawaii (insert minority roommate's comment: "wait, you're telling me racism in America is a problem? I'm shocked!").  The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals (federal court with appellate jurisdiction over Hawaii, Alaska, California, Nevada, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, and Washington) last week rejected a challenge to the Kamehameha Schools admissions practice that gives preferential treatment to native Hawaiians.  The lawsuit apparently includes a heated debate over whether four non-Hawaiian students would be subject to racial attacks if their identities were revealed.


Judges Alex Kozinski and Stephen Reinhardt wrote strongly worded dissents, referring to "Kill Haole Day" at Hawaii's schools and arguing that the four non-Hawaiian students would be endangered in a "racially charged environment."  What? Kill Haole Day? Surely this is just some silly myth.  Well, it turns out that the last day of school before summer is annually known as Kill Haole Day.  This is not to be confused with Kick a Ginger Day (which, as we all know, is just plain old good fun!).  Local school kids in Hawaii will harass and sometimes beat up on mainland young white kids. Tourists don't exactly get exposed to this part of the culture when they visit, but local people know all about it. It isn't discussed openly or written about in newspapers, but it has been part of island practice among some of the young people for decades, apparently.


From my perspective, I have never experienced haole-based racism...and I have some pretty embarrassing proof that such claims may be overblown.  As I mentioned earlier, I went to Sandy's Beach this weekend.  When it comes to parking, you have two choices: the paved parking lot or the grass/sand in front of the beach.  There is basically a big field in front of the beach that is preceded by a strip of sand maybe 5-6 feet wide.  Well, I pull up over the sand, park the car, and go to the beach.  No problem.  We come back from the beach, get in the car and prepare to leave.  I drive over the grass and am ready to pull out on the narrow, one-lane road in front of the beach, but there is a lot of traffic.  So everyone has to go slowly and take their time.  I, unfortunately, happened to stop right on the strip of sand.  I didn't think anything of it.  Finally, no cars were coming, so I gradually ease out...oh wait...no...the wheels start spinning but I go NOWHERE.  The following conversation took place in the car:


Me: uh oh, I think we're stuck
Passenger:  What?
Me: Stuck in the sand
Passenger: Just give it more gas.  
Me: Ok


Nothing Happens.  


Passenger: Try going in reverse  
Me: Ok...


Yep, goin' nowhere


Passenger: Haha, lol!
Me:  That's not helpful...

Notice the position of the cars...these are where the locals park

Now, I don't have pictures of this cluster f*ck, so I will try to be as descriptive as possible (you can sort of see the layout from this picture).  The road I was trying to turn on runs parallel to the beach (right behind the cars on the left side of the picture here).  The field is directly behind that. To exit the park, you're driving toward the beach and turn right onto the road.  All the local boys are parked perpendicular to the road/beach/field.  As I'm looking out the front windshield, I can see the beach and the entire row of about 15 cars/trucks filled with 4-5 local boys each who have now taken notice of my nightmare what is going on.  I am still spinning the wheels in a futile effort to go somewhere.  They ALL start yelling different instructions at me in an effort to help.  Of course, all the instructions contradict each other.  Some are telling me to give it more gas.  Some say turn the wheel.  Some say go in reverse.  Some just point in six different directions.  After a few minutes, I exit the vehicle to see what my options might be. HA!  The wheels were BURIED in the sand.  Yep, not going anywhere.

Example of a Local Boy

Well, wouldn't ya know it...after another minute of watching this haole idiot screw around with his car, a SWARM of these guys walks up to us.  They assess the situation and say, "ah brah, you're buried."  Ya think!?  A group of them have now boxed me out of the situation completely and discuss among themselves how to get the car out.  Within what seemed like an hour a minute or so, one guy goes over to his truck and pulls out some type of strap.  Now 3 or 4 guys are laying on the ground looking under the bumper screaming at each other, "hook it there!;" "no, it'll pull the bumper, brah, you gotta hook it there;" "nah brah, wrap it around here!"  


I'm just standing silently on the side thinking: sure guys, let me know if I can help.  After a few minutes, my truck is hooked up to a bigger truck.  Now EVERYONE is watching in amusement - including the dozen-or-so line of cars that cannot pass on the road because the bigger truck is blocking it as we are hood to hood.  He pulls me out pretty quickly and with my bumper still intact, I am on my merry way with NO intention of showing my face at Sandy's Beach Park ever again.  So while they all got a good laugh/story at the haole's expense, I certainly don't think I'd classify them as anything but friendly/helpful guys.


So I suppose I'd have to say that my assessment of Hawaii is a little different than Judge Kozinski's.

Sandy's Beach

Sandy's Beach From Scenic Point

The scenery along the southern and eastern coasts of Oahu along Highway 72 on the way to Kailua is pretty incredible.  The coast is littered with sparkling water crashing on the lava cliffs with intermittent beaches along the way.  You can leave Waikiki and head toward Diamond Head and just follow the road all the way along the coast or you can just take the H-1 East (from anywhere) and just stay straight - it turns into Hwy 72 (this is much easier, though you did miss some scenery).  There are scenic points to stop about every half mile or so, which is nice if you want to take pictures of the coast.  The road winds along the mountain and moves slowly as everyone tries to catch glimpses of the water and shoreline.  Although there are a number of beaches on the stretch of highway between Waikiki and Sandy's Beach, they're not worth going to.  These beaches are in the town/neighborhood of Hawaii Kai, which has a runoff problem.  The beaches, as a result, are not very clean and the water is cloudy so it's best to just keep driving.

Hawaii Kai from Hwy 72

As you drive along Hwy 72, you'll pass the entrance to Hanauma Bay, which is a great spot for snorkeling (I don't actually have personal knowledge of this, but it's what I've been told).  There is also an amazing scenic point here that gives a great view of Hawaii Kai (see picture above).  As you continue along the highway, you'll also pass the Halona Blowhole (I'll talk about this later).

Sandy's Beach

Right next to the Halona Blowhole and Halona Beach is Sandy Beach Park.  This beach is very popular with locals who enjoy the body surfing.  Notice I said locals.  The beach's shoreline is very steep and the waves have incredibly strong and powerful shore breaks (apparently it CAN be calm on some days.  When I was there, though the surf was UP so the waves were huge).  It is not uncommon to hear about tourists who try to body surf and end up getting pile driven into the sand leaving some fairly unpleasant neck injuries.  However, if you wanna man up and take the chance, it can be pretty fun.  For the faint of heart, though, it's still fun to just sit on the beach and watch all the people getting tossed around by the water.  Here is a youtube video that accurately portrays the Carnage at Sandy's.

Sandy's is also just one of those places with a lot of character.  Dozens of local boys park their trucks right up next to the beach, drink beer, blast music, and watch the body surfers in the water.  The water is teeming with locals doing some pretty amazing stuff on a boogie board.  Another nice thing about Sandy's is that there are full facilities with showers and bathrooms and it's free to park.  There is also a truck that sells "Mexican" food.  I put that in quotes because it is not like the shrimp trucks I've written about before.  This truck is really just a guy selling tacos out of the back of his truck.  Also, he moves slower than dirt so if there is a line of people, expect to wait awhile.  Although we bought water ($2 for a 24oz bottle), we did not sample the food so I have no idea if it's any good.

Overall, the beach park is a nice place to play in the water if you're not afraid of being slammed into the ground.  If you're in the mood for a relaxing beach trip where you can wade in the water peacefully, though, Sandy's is probably not for you.  However, I still recommend pulling over for 20 minutes to watch the locals and all the characters that populate the beach.  They're entertaining.

If you continue past Sandy's Beach, you'll run into the very pretty (and public) Hawaii Kai Golf Course.  The golf course is also right down the road from Makapu'u Lighthouse Trail, which is also how you get to Dragon's Nostrils.

Dragon's Nostrils and Makapu'u

Makapu'u Lighthouse is one of Hawaii's most familiar landmarks along the Windward (Southeast) side of O'ahu. It is actually on the South Easternmost tip of the island.  The lighthouse was built in 1909 and automated in 1974.  There is a 2-mile paved trail that leads to the lighthouse and along the way has a fantastic view of the entire coastline and the island of Molokai in the distance (The Molokai Channel runs past Makapu'u Lighthouse).  A little over a mile up the trail, there is a "whale watching plaque."  This plaque talks about Humpback Whale watching that is supposedly spectacular from this viewpoint during their mating and birthing seasons from December through April.

Getting there is really easy.  From Waikiki take Kalakaua Avenue past the Honolulu Zoo and Kapiolani Park. Turn right onto Diamond Head Road. Follow the signs going East (to your left) to Kalanianaole Highway (Route 72). You can also just jump on the H-1 East and stay straight.  H-1 turns into 72.  You'll pass Hanauma Bay (closed on Tuesdays, so no review yet), Sandy Beach Park, and the Halona Blow Hole until you get to the Hawaii Kai Golf Course. About ½ mile past the golf course, the entrance to the trail is on the right.  You'll also likely see about a half dozen paragliders gliding in the air above the mountains.  This is where all the hang gliders and para gliders come to jump off.

The hike is fairly easy, though it can be a little steep and it's 2 miles long.  You don't have to be in great shape to walk it, but definitely bring water.  We forgot (mostly because we didn't expect to be hiking at all, but just sort of stumbled on it) and by the end you're desperate for water.  Also, make sure the tide is UP when you go.  Going back to the whale watching plaque.  The trail follows the coastline, so you get some great views of the water along the way.  If you stop at this plaque, though, look down the 400 ft cliff.  The entire cliff wall is dried lava.  It will slightly slope down to a lava bed just out into the water, but still attached to the land.  If the tide is up, you'll notice the "dragon's nostrils."  The ocean has somehow carved holes and caves into and under the lava. When the water rushes underneath, the air and water are pushed under the lava and violently shoots through the blow holes (about 4-5 of them).  Well, there are two holes right next to each other that quite accurately depict a dragon's nostrils.  The sound is incredible and the geysers shoot easily 25 feet in the air.  You can hear it and see it from the trail even though it's about 350-400 feet down the cliff.  You may even see people swimming in the wading pools around there (see below).

It is a 400 ft hike down the lava cliff to the pools.  The trail to the Dragon's Nostrils (if you can call it a trail) starts near the whale watching sign. It is more of a scramble up and down. There are white arrows painted on the rock, but you can't really see them until you are on your way back up. So going down is kind of a guess if you haven't done it before. As you're climbing down the cliff trying not to fall to your death, lava rocks are loose and slipping under your feet.  This part of the hike (which is NOT on the paved trail) requires you to be in good shape (and to have a strong sense of adventure).  Getting down the cliff took us about 35 minutes or more.  It's slow and finding the trail down is next to impossible.  So we climbed/crawled down, took some pictures and video, waded in the pool with some locals (though, if I live here now, do I get to claim local status?), and tried to admire the sheer size of the cliff we just descended (and tried to get over the loud sound of the nostrils).  It sounds like there is a giant T-Rex caught or trapped underneath the lava shelf just itching to escape and attack anything in sight.  Pretty cool stuff.

Kayaking in Lanikai

As I mentioned in my "Lanikai and Laird Hamilton" post, there are two Mokulua Islands about a mile off the shore of Lanikai and Kailua.  It cannot be overstated enough how Lanikai is a picturesque beach that seems like it was plucked right from a postcard.  Crystal clear water, white sand beach, two islands offshore, gorgeous houses along the beach, and a mountain range in the background.  While I recognize that I have not been to too many beaches here, Lanikai is so far my favorite.  It definitely beats the crowds (and dirtiness) of tourists in Waikiki.  There is a reason Oahu's Kailua Beach and Lanikai Beach have been voted best in the U.S. for swimming, walking, kayaking, windsurfing, boogie boarding, paddling, snorkeling and a number of other water sports.

The Mokulua Islands are two bird sanctuaries now, but the one of the left also has a beach that is littered with kayakers and beach-goers who pack lunches and just hang out.  This weekend I decided to try kayaking out to the islands to see what they were all about.  To get to Kailua Beach Park is fairly simple.  If you're leaving from Waikiki, you simply take the H-1 (Interstate) Highway to the Pali Highway.  Stay straight on the Pali for 9 miles until you get into the town of Kailua.  The road eventually forks, but stay straight (left) on Kailua Road.  You'll pass Kailua Square (Aikahi Park) Shopping Center and Macy's.  Keep going all the way to the end of the road until you can only turn left or right. Turn right onto Kalaheo Rd. You'll pass some kayak stands on the right and the Kailua Beach Park parking lot will be on your left.  Keep going straight and you'll run right into Lanikai in about 2 minutes.  There is no parking lot in Lanikai, but you can park your car anywhere you find a spot.  Everyone just parks along the side of the road and you'll know you're in Lanikai when you start seeing all the cars parked along the road.

  

This weekend I decided to kayak out to the Mokulua Islands.  I did not have any recommendations for my first time, so as I get more experience, I'm sure I will update my thoughts.  A protective barrier reef allows for easier paddling and a chance to kayak from Kailua Beach to the Mokulua Islands, Flat Island and Lanikai Beach. When you kayak in this area, you go through sea turtle feeding grounds, sea bird sanctuaries and living coral reef, all with the majestic backdrop of the Kololau Mountains. Be prepared to see the native Hawaiian Green sea turtle, or Honu, tropical fish and other marine life in their natural habitat.  We actually saw a sea turtle and it was pretty awesome. 

  

I have been to Lanikai a couple times prior to this weekend and there is nowhere to actually rent kayaks in Lanikai.  So if you think you might want to kayak, plan ahead.  You have to rent kayaks, windsurf boards, etc. from Kailua, which is the beach park right before you get to Lanikai.  Along the side of Kalaheo Rd you'll see a bunch of trucks with dozens of kayaks.  That's the only spot you can rent them near the beach.  These trucks are actually the satellite operation for several shops in downtown Kailua.  Renting a tandem kayak for half a day (4 hours) will cost $50-55 (total for 2 people).  Renting for a full day is $65-70. ALWAYS ask for the Kama'aina Discount, though!  It reduces the price by about $10.  Also, they are not sticklers about time, so always get the half-day.  They DO NOT care if you come back in 5 or 6 hours.  This goes for all rentals - surfboards, kayaks, etc.  

One thing you should know is that these truck vendors CANNOT accept cash.  It is a violation of park ordinances to accept cash in the beach park.  If you want to pay cash, you'll have to go back into town to the actual shops, which is annoying.  For people wary of giving your credit card number to guys on the side of the road, though, this may be worth the security.  Know this, though: some people operate illegally.  There are guys who accept cash.  If someone is willing to accept cash, then they are not affiliated with any of the shops in town and are actually despised by the legitimate businesses. However, their kayaks still float.  Further, knowing that they operate illegally is to your advantage.  They will still try to charge you the same rate as the legitimate businesses, but you have all the leverage if you know the rules.  You can easily talk them down to $30 or $40 depending on how confident you are.  No matter who you rent from, they'll help you tie it to your car.  

A picture from the island...this is how far you'll kayak

If you don't want to do this on your own, you can always get ripped off  try a guided tour.  For $95 (each; $190 for 2 people), you a get a 4-hour "eco-tour."  This means you follow someone through the turtle feeding grounds and have them explain what you're looking at.  The tours usually include some kind of snack and 2 hours on the beach.  If my stellar recommendation has you interested, I've heard that Kailua Sailboards and Kayaks are a good bet.  You can also try Hawaiian Water Sports.
   

Now that you've tied the kayak to your car, drive to Lanikai.  Don't try to Kayak from Kailua Beach to the Mokulua Islands.  It's far and not worth the added hassle.  Drive all the way through Lanikai.  Lanikai is a giant loop.  As you get into the town, it goes off the right.  Drive until it comes back around and park right there.  You'll see the beach access point.  This is the shortest distance to the Islands.  Now, the two islands don't seem too far offshore.  Originally, I thought even an average swimmer could easily swim the distance.  I was wrong.  When you're in the middle of the water and have been paddling for a half an hour, you realize that those islands feel like their the disappearing Island in Lost.  It just keeps moving further away.


When you finally make it, the islands create a weird tidal shift.  Waves some in from both sides of the beach and converge to make for a tricky landing.  If you're not careful, you could tip over.  This isn't disastrous as the water is knee-deep.  It's just embarrassing because the beach is filled with people who kayaked over and they're undoubtedly judging you as both an amateur and a tourist.  The trick is to know that the waves are there and just be prepared to paddle through them.  Pack a lunch.  It is pretty cool to see everyone on the island just hanging out.  Some guys were playing horseshoes and drinking beer when we showed up.  Other people had lunches and were lounging on towels.  Still others were snorkeling.  People brought their kids (no dogs are allowed on the island).

While the island is definitely an adventure and off the beaten path a little, it's not that relaxing.  The beach is not that big and it feels crowded because of its size.  There were maybe 50 people on the entire island, but with everyone so close together, it felt like more.  If you don't really care about kayaking and you're really just in the mood for a quiet, relaxing lunch on the beach, skip the hassle of getting to the island and just sit and enjoy Lanikai.  There is nothing to see on the island so the real appeal is just saying you did it (which, admittedly, is cool).

Here’s what to know before you go:

• You don’t need to be super fit to kayak Kailua Bay, but you do need to be in relatively good shape and have the ability to swim without a personal flotation device. Note that PFDs were provided.  We didn't wear them.

• You must 13 or older.

• If you take one of the guided tours, the company will provide transportation to and from Waikiki hotels. You should drive your own rental car, though.

• Snorkel equipment is provided if you ask.  It's free.

• Wear sunscreen!

• Wear sunglasses.

• Wear a hat or visor.

• Bring a waterproof camera.

• Wear your bathing suit

• Don't bother taking a guided tour.  Rent your own kayak and relax and have fun.

Beaches and Hula Pie

Despite a Friday night that involved excessive bar-passing celebrations, weekends in Hawaii are no time to sleep in and recover.  Saturday included more beach-going in Waikiki (but no surfing) and Hula Pie.  Duke's Restaurant and Barefoot Bar (here: http://www.dukeswaikiki.com/) is in Waikiki and has a signature "hula pie" that is made with macadamia nut ice cream on a chocolate cookie crust.  It is topped with hot fudge, whipped cream and more macadamia nuts.  Even if you don’t particularly care for macadamia nuts, they are not overpowering.  If you find yourself in Waikiki don’t miss out on this amazing dessert.  It is easily big enough for two people (and if you tell them it’s your birthday, it’s free).

There are not many better ways to celebrate anything than spending a day recovering on a beach with a stomach filled with delicious ice cream.  The food at Duke's other than Hula Pie is equally amazing.  I highly recommend the chicken quesadillas, the hot wings, and the Mango BBQ Bacon Burger.  The burger comes with local grass fed beef, white cheddar, ranch dressing and grilled onions.  The quesadillas have a special sauce drizzled on top with a pretty good guacamole on the side.

 

Following Duke’s and the beach, a group of people introduced me to the Yard House Restaurant, which is also in Waikiki.  The Yard House is a casual eatery known mostly for its selection of draft beer.  The place features a center island bar and a fleet of tap handles ranging from classic lagers to more obscure ales. The glass-enclosed keg room has as much as 5,000 gallons of beer at any one time.  Also, there are three to five miles of individual beer lines stretching overhead from the keg room to the island bar maintaining a constant temperature of 34-36 degrees.  However, it is also a pretty tourist-y place, and if your time in Hawaii is limited, I wouldn’t bother.  It gets really crowded and the food is, at best, average.  The nachos in particular are terrible.  The cheese was burned on both plates we ordered, the chips were soggy and overly salty, and the toppings were glopped on the middle without anything touching the outer-lying chips.  They did have a really good goat cheese/chicken pizza, but overall, it’s a mediocre place compared to other great options.  The only reason a person visiting Hawaii may choose to go to Yardhouse, though, is their amazing beer selection.

Lanikai and Laird Hamilton

I should put everything in context.  Last night (Friday night) involved $1 beer night at a local bar.  The night ended at an Irish Pub at 3:30 in the morning.  This morning, I went surfing at 8:30am.  There is no better cure for a hangover than getting in the ocean and swimming around/surfing.  My co-worker, his girlfriend, and I signed up for a surf lesson in Waikiki.  After three attempts, I made it up and was actually riding waves all the way in.  Apparently, the first few times I made it up I looked like a flailing moron.  However, after a few more tries, and the instructor's command to "relax" I started to feel more comfortable.  Surfing is really fun.  I can see why it's addicting.  It's also an insane workout.  Just the sheer amount of energy expended paddling all the way out to the waves are a killer on the shoulders.

The coolest part of the morning, though, was that Laird Hamilton was paddle surfing around us.  Now, you're probably thinking the same thing I did when the instructor said, "whoa, brutha, that's Laird Hamilton." I said, "who?"  Turns out, Laird Hamilton INVENTED tow-out surfing.  That is when the waves are so big, they tow the surfers out to the waves and drop them off.  In other words, he's a big-wave surfer.  In fact, using tow-in surfing methods, Hamilton quickly learned how to survive 70-foot (21 m) waves and carving arcs across walls of water, the size of which could literally roll a ship over!  Wikipedia has a huge article about him, but one paragraph says, "It was Hamilton's death-defying drop into Tahiti's Teahupo'o break (commonly known as, CHOPU) on the morning of August 17, 2000 which has become the measure of his surfing career to date, and has firmly established his reputation as the greatest and bravest big wave surfer in the recorded history of surfing."  The picture below is a picture of him riding a wave.

So our instructor started talking to him and he came over and said hi (on his paddle board).  Turns out he was in Waikiki because a friend was getting married. Laird Hamilton, by the way, is married himself.  He is married to professional volleyball player Gabrielle Reece.  So anyway, he was really chill and just hanging out and having a good time.  So then a wave comes and I decide to catch it.  I start paddling, pull the knees up, left foot forward, and stand up.  As I'm riding, Laird Hamilton pulls up next to me on the wave and starts talking to me.  He's is literally 3 feet away saying, "awesome bro. Now bend your knees a little.  Stand up straighter, don't arch your back.  Now hold your arms up and ride it in."  So I can now say I surfed with Laird Hamilton in Hawaii.  It was definitely one of my "Hawaii Moments."  I suppose in the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that the waves we were riding were not at big as the one pictured here. To get a sense of what riding these waves looks like, though, here is a short 3 minute video:

That all happened before 10:30am.  So then we finished our lesson, grabbed lunch, and I was headed back to take a rest.  That's when one of my new friends texted me and asked what I was doing.  To make a long story short, we decided to go to Lanikai Beach.  This small 0.5 mile beach has been constantly ranked among the best beaches in world.  So we drove up about a half an hour away and hung out on the beach for 4-5 hours.  The sand was completely white.  The water was as clear as any water I've ever seen.  There were mountains behind us.  And people were swimming and kayaking in the water.  It is one of the prettiest beaches I've ever seen.  I took a bunch of pictures, but I haven't uploaded them yet so here is a picture I got online.

Basically, it was a pretty cool day, especially when you consider the weather in Chicago today was Rainy and 64 degrees. The weather in Hawaii was sunny and 87.