Headnote of the Week

This week's headnote comes from Paul Clement, the former Solicitor General who is defending the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman and says that no state (or other political subdivision within the United States) is required to recognize a same-sex marriage in another state (i.e. if a gay couple is married in Massachusetts, Arkansas does not have to recognize that marriage if the couple moves to Arkansas).

Paul Clement used to be a partner at the law firm King & Spalding.  However, King & Spalding didn't want to get hate mail from gay groups be associated with defending an unpopular bill and so Paul Clement quit today and joined another law firm.  In his resignation letter, he said:

Amen.

Kaena Point

Friday was a pretty fun day - and full of adventure.  The original plan included hiking Kaena Point on the West Coast of O'ahu followed by snorkeling and lunch, etc.  After driving about 50 minutes to the entrance to Kaena Point, we were turned away because we did not have the required permit!  What makes this troubling is that the Hawaii State Parks website specifically says, "no permit required."  This, my friends, is the Hawaiian Government at its finest.  See, Kaena Point is located on the grounds for a military observatory.  It's not in the restricted area, but it's next to it.  So they, understandably, need to keep track of who comes and goes.  I have no problem with the permit being required.  I have a problem telling the public that they don't need one.  Just remember: you DO need a permit.

Here's the description of Kaena Point:  The trail to Ka‘ena Point follows an old railroad bed and former dirt road that ran along the westernmost point of O‘ahu. The trail leads to Ka‘ena Point Natural Area Reserve, a remote and scenic protected area harboring some of the last vestiges of coastal sand dune habitat on the island, and home to native plants and seabirds. Whales frequent this shoreline during the winter months.

All in all, it wasn't that big a deal.  The West side is absolutely gorgeous.  I had never been over there, but I want to go again (and hike this time, of course).  They have a bunch of gorgeous beaches over there that are virtually abandoned.  The highway to get out there also follows the coastline all the way, so while you're driving you're in between huge mountains and clear blue water.  It's at the last beach on Farrington Highway.

Mexico

No, I don't plan to take a trip there.  Mexico is the name of a Mexican restaurant outside of downtown Honolulu that is actually worthy of being called "mexican food."  It's legit.  As I've written about before, it is nearly impossible to find good Mexican food in Hawaii.  I don't think you can legitimately have a Mexican restaurant unless you have Juan and Jose slingin' my burrito in the kitchen.  In Hawaii, it's always "Asian-inspired" Mexican with no Mexicans in the kitchen.

Not here.  First, the margaritas are fantastic.  Second, the food tastes fresh and authentic.  There is nothing worse than fake Mexican (or anything, really) that then tastes re-heated and processed.  Mexico (1247 North School Street Honolulu, HI 96817 - map here) had fresh fish, fresh vegetables, and even real chips and salsa.  If you're in Hawaii and miss the Mexican food from home, stop by this place and give it a try.  Another nice thing about this place is that it's not located in the middle of any major metropolitan areas.  In other words, not a lot of tourists to degrade the authenticity and atmosphere.  So if you're looking for a quality meal outside of town, hit up this place and bring your appetite.

Pineapple Growth (6 months down)

Ok, so the original purpose of this blog - to grow a pineapple in 2 years and blog about my adventures while documenting the growth of the pineapple - went to shit.  It's mostly laziness.  I have to take the pictures of the pineapples, upload them to my computer, do a write-up, and then upload it to the blog.  This may not sound like a whole lot of effort, but it's enough to deter me.

Anyway, since I accepted a job in Chicago and will be moving back in September (and subsequently changed the countdown), people have surprisingly asked frequently "what about your pineapple?"  Well, there is good news and bad news, I'm afraid.  The good news is that Pineapple #2 is doing very well.  You'll recall that I bought potting soil and planted Pineapple #2 in a bigger pot from the beginning.  This, I predicted, would lead to better growth.  It seems this prediction is coming true.  As you can see from the photos, Pineapple #2 is looking healthy and strong.  The bad news is that Pineapple #1, while alive, does not look as vibrant as Pineapple #2.  Pineapple #1, planted nearly a month before it's companion, looks a little wilted and run down.  I'm not sure why this is the case, but it does not look like it's on the road to bearing fruit any time soon.

Well, without further adoo, here are the updated pictures:

Photo Taken April 24, 2011

Pineapple #2 - Photo Taken April 24, 2011/Planted October 25, 2010

Pineapple #1 - Photo Taken April 24, 2011/Planted October 25, 2010

 Now, as you can see, both pineapples are doing well.  I say they're doing well, but obviously I have no sense of whether that's true or not.  For all I know, they should be bigger, have more leaves, growing buds, or whatever else happens with pineapples.  However, I don't think they're dead, which is always a positive.  For purposes of comparing, you can see the originals below:

Pineapple #2 on October 25, 2010

Pineapple #1 on October 25, 2010 (planted a month before this picture)

Week 1 - Second Triathlon Training

As I mentioned before, I am doing another sprint triathlon on May 22.  This one is on the marine corps base in Kaneohe on the East side of O'ahu.  It's the same distance as the Lanikai Triathlon - 500 meter swim, 12 mile bike, 3.1 mile run.  Since my Lanikai Sprint Triathlon results were less than inspiring, I vowed to get serious for this one.  So here is the schedule of my first week of training:

Monday, April 18 - Run 45 minutes (5 mi) + Swim 30 minutes
Tuesday, April 19 - Off
Wednesday, April 20 - Run 45 minutes (5 mi) + Swim 30 minutes
Thursday, April 21 - Off
Friday, April 22 - Bike 40 minutes (13 mi) + Swim 50 minutes
Saturday, April 23 - Off
Sunday, April 24 - Run 40 minutes (6 mi)

Headnote of the Week

This week I decided to do something different for the Headnote of the Week.  Instead of giving you a quote from a real case, I wanted to give readers a sense of what I read on a regular basis.  What follows is a quote from one party's brief in a case I am working on.  Please keep in mind that this is written by a private lawyer (i.e. being paid) for a criminal defendant facing serious jail time.  I have omitted nothing (i.e. the lawyer cited no cases to support his argument).  The brief was written in March, though, so maybe the lawyer had March Madness on the brain...

"Without a defense expert to contravert [sic] or at least contest the conclusions reached by the prosecution's expert witnesses . . . [this case] is akin to showing up to play a game of basketball with only four players instead of five players.  The result of such a game, all things being equal, is easy to predict.  The same is true with a trial. If the other side produces an expert witness, it is ineffective assistance of counsel for a defense attorney not to produce a defense expert on the same subject matter to contest or challenge the conclusions reached by the government's expert witness.  This is what occurred in this case, and this is why there was ineffective assistance of counsel as regards this issue."

Could you represent yourself?

Let me explain something.  If you find yourself in legal trouble or you're involved in a lawsuit of some kind, do your research before you hire a lawyer.  Don't just hire the first retard that comes knocking.  In fact, if they're advertising, chances are they need your business.  If they need your business, what does that say about them?  If you find yourself in legal trouble in Hawai'i...well...I don't know what to tell you.  You're probably not going to find a quality lawyer.  You might get lucky, but you're probably screwed.  Or maybe you find some good lawyers but, since they're the only good ones around, they charge more than you can afford.  I can honestly say you might just be better off representing yourself IF (and ONLY IF) you are not an idiot.  What do I mean by that?

First, can you spell correctly?  For example, can you correctly use there, they're, and their or your and you're?  If not, then writing motions is going to prove difficult for you and you're probably too dumb to represent yourself.  Second, can you write in complete sentences?  This means using correct grammar with clear thoughts.  Finally, can you understand that when you make a legal argument, you must support that argument with (1) evidence and (2) case law?  You can't just say, "that crazy bitch is a liar."  Case law is the collection of cases that have already been decided that have facts similar to the facts of your dispute.  You can research case law for free at any local law school library or courthouse library.

We see a lot of pro se litigants (people representing themselves) in Hawaii.  For whatever reason, they choose to forego a lawyer.  So instead, they represent themselves and write 35 page briefs that fail to cite a single case.  Sometimes they'll cite cases but fail to argue what that case has to do with their case.  I hate to say it, but pro se litigants almost always lose when they face a lawyer.  Why?  Because even though the lawyer is bad, the lawyer often knows to cite cases and make a reasonably intelligent argument.  A persuasive legal argument is different than saying, "Joe didn't live up to the contract."  So, consider how smart you really are before you decide to represent yourself.  Consider how smart your lawyer is before you hand him or her a check.  And for the love of God, proofread your shit before you turn it in.

Manoa Valley District Park

I discovered last night that there is a community swimming pool about 2 1/2 miles from my apartment that is perfect for swim training.  The pool is located at the Manoa Valley District Park.  It's 50 meters long, so an olympic sized pool, has about 8 lanes for swimming laps, and three times a week they are open from 6:30-8:30pm so I can swim after work.  It's free to use and it wasn't even all that crowded.  As with everything in Hawaii, though, there were some confused asians swimmers who didn't know what was going on or how to stay in one lane, but for the most part it was the perfect set up for my purposes.

The park itself is also pretty cool.  They have basketball courts, baseball fields, a track, and the pool.  The only downside would be that there are usually events scheduled so you need to know when to show up (i.e. lots of games scheduled on weekends).  But to have such a great (and free) place in the middle of Manoa is perfect.  I've heard some people say that the fields could be better maintained, but the pool was in perfect shape.  So I'd say for a community park/pool, you can't beat this place.

I am particularly excited to have found the pool because now I don't have to rush to the beach immediately after work to get in a swim before dark.  I also don't have to deal with dirty, gross water and sand in my ass crack.  It's the perfect solution.  Now yes, swimming in the ocean is different, and harder, than swimming in a pool.  The current and tide wreak havoc.  However, for the Lanikai Triathlon, I swam at best once a week for 20 minutes in the ocean (and not at all the month prior to the triathlon).  Swimming in a pool is better than doing nothing.  I also plan to swim once on weekends in the ocean, so that should be all right.  So the current plan is to run to the pool, swim, and run back.  I'm out for blood in the next one.

Well that didn't take long...

I said I hate losing.  More than anything I hate that nagging feeling that I could have done more or could have done better.  Maybe it's my ego.  Maybe my narcissistic type A personality.  I don't know.  Whatever it is, though, it led me to sign up for another triathlon.  Two, actually.  The first is another sprint triathlon on the marine corps base in Kaneohe on the East side of O'ahu.  The other is the Tinman Olympic distance triathlon in Honolulu.

I signed up for two triathlons for a few reasons.  First, I decided to do another sprint distance to prove that my crappy time in the lanikai sprint triathlon was a fluke.  I am out to beat my time (and my friend who also did the lanikai triathlon this past weekend).  Second, triathlons are a lot of fun.  They're not like marathons or bike races where you just do the same thing for a couple hours.  No, triathlons work your whole body and mix things up to the point so you can't just rely on muscle memory.  So I actually did enjoy myself.  Third, I signed up for the Olympic distance to prove that I can do "real" triathlons and I can cross triathlons off my "to do" list without any harassing conversations!

This time, I'm taking no prisoners, though.  I'm going to train seriously this time with no excuses.

Lanikai Triathlon

Sunday, April 17 was the 10th annual Lanikai Triathlon.  I competed in it.  Though, I suppose it's fair to say that what I did was not so much "competing" as it was "participating."  I didn't exactly give anyone a scare in terms of my competitive prowess.  Nonetheless, it was a fun time and I'm glad I did it.  There were about 360 people in the race and it was really well organized.  There was plenty of space for all the participants in the transition area and everyone was really nice and energetic.  The volunteers were amazing and helpful, so it was overall a great experience.

Setting up at 4:30am

You may notice that on the right side of my blog, I have checked off my "goals" list that I competed in a triathlon.  I discussed with someone yesterday, however, that I shouldn't be able to say I did a "real" triathlon because it was only a sprint triathlon.  Now, my achy legs and shoulders take exception to this remark, but I began to think: this person had a point.  On one hand, sure, I worked out for an hour and a half and I did, in fact, do three events - swim, bike, and run in succession.  On the other hand, it was a short distance and nowhere near the length of an Olympic distance.  So can I really mislead people by suggesting that I will be the next Ironman?

Getting Free Stuff

So my answer to the charge is first, feel free to compete in your own triathlon and then give me a call.  But my competitive nature really kicked in this weekend.  I showed up at 4:30am to set up my transition station and realized that I was grossly unprepared.  I mean sure, I trained for the first three weeks, but then everything went to shit.  I looked around and there were some seriously competitive people there.  Even then I figured I was athletic enough to hang in there.  Not so much.  At the end of the day, I felt like I accomplished something, but not what I wanted to accomplish; I wanted to be competitive.  I wanted the triathlon to be the culmination of months of hard work, commitment, and discipline.  I wanted to cross the finish line gasping for air because I pushed myself.  I didn't do that on Sunday.

Finish Line

So that raises the question: do I want to do another one?  I did have fun this weekend.  It was definitely a challenge and they gave out free stuff at the end! Who doesn't like free stuff?  Jamba Juice smoothie?  I'll have 6, please.  I think I do want to do another one.  The only concern I have, of course, is my ability to train for the next few months.  I am going to have the same challenges I had this time: visitors coming to Hawaii and going on a week-long golf trip with a bunch of old men who drink more in one sitting than I can usually drink in a weekend, and a week-long trip to Chicago.  At what point would I be able to sufficiently train so that I can be competitive the next time around.  I refuse to do another triathlon unless I can devote my full energy to the training.

For now, I am happy to say that I have done a Sprint Triathlon and I look forward to the next.